Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes


Remembering Jojit Paredes & his hearty laughter 0

Posted on October 12, 2019 by jimparedes
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HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – September 29, 2019 – 12:00am

I remember the wake of my grandfather, who died some 55 years ago.  Relatives from all over the Philippines showed up. Many of them I saw for the first time. My cousins and I looked at the faces of our new relatives as they entered the room. Immediately we spotted relatives we had never met who hailed from Pasay. They turned out to be our second cousins. The girls were beautiful, and the guys were good-looking.  And we noticed that they were also staring at us and were whispering and giggling.

We were barely in our teens. My first cousins and I  were immediately attracted to our newly arrived second cousins from the far side of town. In our eyes, they looked gorgeous, exciting. We felt the feeling was mutual. Finally, we guys mustered our courage and introduced ourselves to the girls. They were quite friendly. The rapport was instantaneous. We immediately had crushes on them. The Pasay Paredes guys also had crushes on our girl cousins, too.

Soon after, my cousin Mark and I started going to Pasay where we met more of them. That was where I met my cousin Jojit Paredes, who was always with his good friend and neighbor Ronnie Henares. They both played the guitar and liked to sing and perform. They had great vocal harmony. They were campus idols, especially in Assumption College and LaSalle where they studied.

Before I knew it,  I had joined them in a band called Les Violents, another hobby and outlet they were doing aside from their acoustic duet. The how and why of that awful name becoming our band’s name is still a mystery to me to this day. We still laugh about it.

As the Violents, we were doing gigs in parties, school programs, fairs, etc. Jojit was the handsome guy. He had that matinee idol look. His smile was infectious. I would see girls sigh when they saw and heard him sing. He and Ronnie were friendly and sociable and confident enough to approach the girls and introduce themselves.  Me? I was the shy one then. I was a bluesy, brooding 13-year-old. I mostly just tagged along with the two of them.

My stint with the band did not last long. Pasay was too far from where I lived and so I started going there less and less.  Besides, I had my own singing friends in school. Soon after, they became a duet called the Two of Us. Meanwhile, I hung around with my own friends in school and we formed the Apolinario Mabini Hiking Society.

But Jojit also had a budding career outside of his duet gigs with Ronnie. He did some solo recordings and some movies for a while. He even did one with the biggest star at that time who was  Nora Aunor.

Jojit, Ronnie and I  hardly saw each other anymore. After doing some movies and an album, I heard Jojit got married and went to study at Ateneo  Law School. But his first marriage did not last long. Soon after the breakup, he moved to the US and settled there for good. It would be decades again before I would see him.

I remember Jojit as being a kind soul. He was a gentleman, especially to the ladies he met. He would always cause a mild commotion among the girls when he entered a room. He was handsome like his father and he had a presence. It was not surprising that he had a lot of admirers and fans.  That killer smile and his sparkling, eyes made him likable to everyone.  He loved to laugh heartily.  Ronnie, who always had a ton of jokes to share at any time, must have influenced him.

Last year around April, Ronnie called me to ask if Boboy Garrovillo and  I would be interested in being their guests at a planned Two of Us concert in Solaire for September.  It was Jojit’s idea to have a revival show with his good friend Ronnie. He had missed performing so much. In Los  Angeles, he largely kept away from his music passion. He worked for a law firm. Doing a big concert again was high on his bucket list. We immediately said yes.

The days leading to the concert saw the Two of Us,  Boboy and I  get together for rehearsals.

It was great to see Jojit back in Manila. Still, as young and good looking and friendly as ever at age 68, he hugged me. He was clearly happy to be home and doing the thing he loved to do. He was playing the guitar and singing again. We talked and updated each other about our lives. He seemed content, and even happy with his life in the US.

On the day of the concert, Ronnie and Jojit were clearly excited and thrilled that they still could attract a big crowd despite their long absence from the concert scene. They bombarded the audience with old ’60s songs they used to sing decades go. The audience gamely sang along and had a good time.

That night in Solaire after the show would be the last time I would see Jojit. A few days later, he was back in LA.

Last Sept. 24, I got a text from a relative saying  Jojit had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. Things did not look good. The last thing he did before the stroke was to stand up and get water because he was dizzy. He never got up again. He was rushed to the hospital and was put under life support. A few hours later they pulled out the plug and he died peacefully at 12:35 p.m.

Ronnie and I called each other to exchange info. We cried on the phone.  We both had lost a dear friend.

These days, when I see friends, classmates, and relatives who are over 60, I always consider the possibility that we could be talking for the last time.

Jojit, we never got to meet and spend time together again after the concert. But I am so happy, though, that you were able to have that concert you dreamt of having. That was one big item on your bucket list that you fulfilled.

Remembering your smile lifts the heaviness we are all going through because of your demise. Gone too soon. Till we meet again dear, friend and cousin.

JOJIT PAREDES

Taking your audience where they have never been 0

Posted on September 14, 2019 by jimparedes
HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – September 15, 2019 – 12:00am

I had a small gig the past weekend. It was held at Parliament On King at King Street in Newtown, the hippest place in Sydney. It’s a tiny venue that can accommodate only 25 people. This was the second time I’d performed there. Proceeds went to an NGO called Asylum Seekers Centre. The first time, we used the money we raised to buy mobile phones for a few refugees.

What I want to talk about is the topic of performance.

I have been performing since my high school days and I still prepare for each gig. Several days before the Sydney performance I had a cough that had been going on for four weeks; I finally took antibiotics, hoping my voice would be well enough to perform.

In addition to trying to keep my voice intact, part of my preparation before each show is planning my repertoire. I am always expected to sing the hit songs I made with APO, so I did that. That’s a given. But I also made sure to play new compositions that I’ve composed since APO ended 10 years ago. I have been writing new music and done two solo albums since. I am still as excited as ever about doing new material for anyone who wants to listen.

Throughout the years, I’ve developed and discovered my own philosophy about what a performance really ought to be.

From National Artist Rolando Tinio, I learned that theater is all about the filling up of time and space. You create content for people to watch. Your content is your material. And you perform the material.

To me, a performance is an artist’s attempt to bring his (or her) audience to a time and place where they have never been. I am speaking about physical, emotional, sensual, spiritual states that they have not experienced. While they may have felt similar emotions in the past, a performer’s unique material will make it a new experience. It is an engagement with the audience’s imagination and a suspension of disbelief.

A magician will arouse wonder and mystery. Dancers will wow the crowd by showing great agility in moving their bodies through the choreography of different successive physical movements coordinated to music. Often, they seem to defy gravity. Singers engage the audience with songs that they know and enjoy. They interpret the songs using their own vocal styles and arrangements, giving a new take on them. Playwrights and actors create and tell stories that engage their audience. Athletes break records of human physical endurance, strength, speed and skill. Religious leaders aim to take you toward spiritual states that give you a feeling of comfort in your belief and a feeling of liberation.

All throughout, through the clever use of surprise and delight, and/or shock and awe, good performers take their audiences to different places and states of mind.

In a little gig such as mine, I aim to bring enjoyment and delight via songs that elicit memories of the past, stories about the songs I have written, and other topics about life that people can relate to. I also sing new material. I know it sounds like a formula that’s been done before over and over again — and on the surface, yes, it is true. But I believe in the power of live performance and engagement. Something wonderful always happens to both performer and his audience when one has the right material and it is delivered powerfully.

A combination of spontaneity from the performer’s end and an audience willing to have fun can bring magic to the situation. A wonderful combustion can happen. Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

The specificity of any present moment and place and has an inert energy about it. To a seasoned performer, it is ripe for exploitation. He can focus on anything and exploit it. He can seize the moment and instantly make comments or do something that can affect the audience in a delightful way and play it to the hilt.

In comedy, it’s called improvisation — where you go off script and directly ride with the flow of the moment. In jazz, it’s also called improv, or ad libbing. The musicians become completely extemporaneous without any previous preparation. And if they’re good, a magical performance happens.

A performer gives something of himself to every show. A live performance opens you to vulnerability. Your voice may crack. You can lose timing. You can forget lyrics or sing flat or sharp notes. Many things can go wrong. But that’s the thrill of it. That’s what a live performance is all about.

I try to give a new spin or take (no matter how small) to songs I have done countless times and make it fresh and new again. There are many ways to perform an old familiar song and give it a twist. Sometimes, I stretch one note longer, or even just hold the mic with the other hand. Adding even little nuances while performing can make me more present.

During the APO days, I used to imagine myself as some sort of high priest as I put on my costume before a show. I looked at my clothes as vestments that gave me the power to transform the next two hours into a creative moment of entertainment, thrills, magical music and alter the emotional state of my audience to something wonderful and memorable.

It took us years to learn everything we did. These days, I am still trying to find my comfort zone as a solo performer. It is a good stage to be in. I like trying new things. At my age I still look at myself as a student learning many lessons. Sometimes, I think I am getting better.

Performing is something I don’t think I will ever get tired of doing. I had 44 years of it with APO.  Throughout those years, I learned a lot as a songwriter, singer, performer, arranger, director, scriptwriter and, yes, critic. I have also learned to calmly accept criticism. They were great years because they engaged all of my creative powers. What more could I ask for? I just wish to continue doing this.

Sometimes I remember performers I knew who “died” onstage while doing a gig. While it may have been a shock to their audience, I feel in way that they were lucky and blessed. At least they left this earth dressed elegantly, doing what they loved to do.

Are these our last days on planet earth as we know it? 0

Posted on August 31, 2019 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – September 1, 2019 – 12:00am

There is a lot to worry about these days. Humanity seems to be assaulted on all fronts. Doomsday seems more impending than at any other time. I worry.

The Amazon, which provides 20 percent of the world’s oxygen, is burning and Brazil’s leader Bolsonado seems not to really care about it. He seems to be of the same mindset as Trump who basically has no grasp of the whole global warming climate phenomenon that 98 percent of all scientists have been warning about for decades. These leaders are climate-change deniers.

The catastrophe is almost a sure thing although some scientists say we have five to 10 years to change our ways. If we do not act concertedly as a whole human race, we will be doomed to suffer in a planet which is increasingly getting hotter and we will struggle to survive all its attendant climatic consequence. As a result, many islands all over the world will be drowned by the oceans as big ice sheets melt into the sea.

There is the trade war that is causing a lot of anxiety all over the world. Markets are jittery. Currencies are shaky.

There are the massive protests in Hong Kong and Taiwan whose people are fighting for their own freedoms amid Chinese threats of total control and hegemony. The countries along the West Philippines Sea are also being squeezed by China to give up territory.

Everywhere you look there seems to be trouble of some kind brewing. Dictatorships are reigning in many countries of the world. A nuclear bomb actually exploded in Russia last month. North Korea is testing missiles non-stop. The divide between the rich and poor, citizens and their governments are getting wider than ever everywhere.

The world goes on even as many wonder how much longer it will take before a massive breakdown of systems happen.

Between the apathetic and those who are concerned about what is happening outside of one’s own world, I find myself among the latter. I have always been interested and concerned about the state of my community, village, city, country and yes, the rest of the world. It has always mattered to me that some people have to suffer greatly. The suffering of strangers, of people I am not even related to can affect me greatly. My empathy and compassion are easily aroused. I can easily identify with them. At the cost of sounding like a cliche, I feel their pain.

I know a lot people who can dismiss suffering very easily. They readily brush it off. When suffering happens to other people they can be very dismissive. Some even make jokes about it. They simply do not care. I do not understand how anyone can be like that.

I remember my uncle who had to endure suffering during Marcos’ time. He said, “Martial law is OK until it happens to you.” Maybe for many people, misfortune has to happen to them first before they can have empathy towards others.

Apathy and indifference are the last things the world needs now. We have to awaken and solve the big problems that threaten every sentient being on earth.

Today I read an article that said that under the regime of cataclysmic climate change, the rich will be spared more than the poor. In terms of countries, we all know that the richest nations were and still are the biggest contributors of CO2 emissions and garbage on the planet. And yet it is the poor who will ultimately and unfairly suffer more.

I really hope I am just exaggerating but I do believe the day of reckoning is just around the corner. The dreaded predictions are happening sooner than expected. The ice sheets of Greenland and Iceland were still supposed to hold from melting until 2050. Two months ago, some of them already started to disappear.

The destructive forest fires are not just in the Amazon but also in Bolivia, Indonesia, Russia, and huge parts of Africa. In a Brahma Kumaris talk I attended about a month and a half ago, an esteemed yogi was asked how people could help Mother Nature recover from climate change. The yogi answered by saying that she is not too worried about Mother Nature because the natural world will adjust and heal no matter what happens. It is mankind that she says will suffer greatly and whose survival is more threatened. I sadly agree.

Sometimes, I imagine that we may be enjoying our last “normal” days on earth before things turn really crazy very quickly. Storms, rains, floods, droughts and other natural weather conditions are becoming more extreme and dangerous and occurring more often. Never has it happened that Alaska had temperatures that were in the 80s Fahrenheit. Yet it did two months ago. Unbelievable.

There is a great battle going on in the world. It is between those who see the world and humanity as sacred and worth saving. They aim for a more sustainable, inclusive way of life. And then there are those who see everything solely from the point of view of generating profit, wealth and accumulating more power for its own sake.

More and more people know that things cannot go on as they have been. We have to transition to something more sustainable. Can the old business model of aiming for unlimited profits above all else continue? Has capitalism reached a point where it is now unsustainable and must transform to something more egalitarian?

I am not against profit or business. But here’s a thought I picked up on the net  I want to leave you with. When we see people who excessively hoard things in their apartments and can’t let them go, or people who are addicted to substances and can’t stop, don’t we see the same perverse similarity in the excessive and obsessive pursuit of money and power? Isn’t it a form of addiction too? Isn’t it a sickness?

The climate crisis is in large part a psycho-spiritual one. The only solution is to awaken and move the world into a different direction.

The big questions is, can mankind wake up in time to save the world? Or are we living the last days of life on earth as we still know it?

I don’t want to leave you with questions. We all know the answers. If your appreciation of the problem is still in the level of intellectual understanding, bring it down. Feel it so it becomes visceral. Can you feel the sadness, impending loss and the pain?

In your own way, act now. Do something daily in the direction of saving the world. Who else will do it?

DOOMSDAY

Drop virtual living and live a real life 0

Posted on August 24, 2019 by jimparedes
HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – August 25, 2019 – 12:00am

Time was when our attention was caught by just a few things. There was news we read in the daily papers, or heard on the radio or watched on television. We thought we were busy enough with the things we needed to do like work, study, worry about the next paycheck, clean the house, raise a family, etc. But there was always time to interact with fellow humans, have good times with friends and family, read books, do some sports and yes, taste our food and enjoy it.

Even when we thought things were already a bit hectic, life was actually way simpler then compared to now.

The creeping  onslaught of life-changing technology entered our lives with the advent of the internet and smart phones. More and more, we have been (perhaps unknowingly and tacitly) allowing the internet to insinuate itself into our lives and rule over  bigger and bigger portions of our activities and our time. Now, it is no exaggeration to say that to a great degree we are all held hostage by technology.

I still remember being in my teens and meeting a girl in a skating rink in Cubao. After one or two visits to her house, I asked her out on a date for the next weekend. We  agreed on a time and place to meet seven days later. There were no follow-up calls; not everyone had a telephone then. Believe it or not, the date actually happened and we had a great time. Life was so simple. People simply showed up when they said they would. We did not need all these present-day gadgets for reminders, confirmation to plan or do anything.

These days, with apps like Facebook, Instagram, Viber, Whatsapp, etc., things have drastically changed. People meet online before meeting in person, stay in touch, maybe even get something going if the vibes are right.

Technology has changed everything. I often wonder how people of my generation lived their lives without smart phones and still got from one place to another sans Waze and Maps and other travel apps. How did people travel abroad and plan their itineraries without booking a hotel a month earlier? How did we live and manage in such an “unsure”  world? Now everything is tracked and documented. Our phones can suggest restos and  destinations based on our past monitored activities.  We can predict travel time, weather  and contact practically anyone anytime.

We can also publicly express our opinions over a wide array of issues. We all have an apple box to stand on and tell the world how we feel. It is interesting to note that the earliest pioneers of the internet predicted then that the open access of millions to online conversation, articles blogs and data would guarantee the end of all dictatorships. How can it thrive when truth and facts can be shared quickly and massively? they asked. In hindsight, they were perhaps way too optimistic.

I’ve always looked at myself as a modern guy and I am up to date with  the latest in technology. But lately, I have not been as excited about it as I used to. Frankly, I go through periods of social media fatigue. I am trying to limit my time on Facebook, Twitter et al. There is just too much noise and too little substance to pick up. And if you are not careful, your smart phone can easily take over your entire day, week, month.

These days, in my own little ways I try not to be too dependent on technology when I can. I am trying to get back to the increasingly archaic habit of reading books printed on paper. And I don’t go online to read reviews and summaries.

Perhaps because I exercise and am into health, I also listen to my body and trust my instincts when it tries to tell me something. Since I started meditating again, I notice how my body clock knows within about 30 seconds when the alarm would ring signalling the end of  a 25-minute silent meditation session. When I do my walks around my neighbourhood  I can tell when I have reached 5,000 steps or when I am close to walking an hour already without having to consult my gadgets.  While technology is helpful in many ways, It is not a always a good thing to be too reliant on machines and gadgets. When you can listen to yourself and your instincts and your own inner wisdom, you can feel a wonderful wholeness and connectedness to things.

A good chef knows by instinct how much or how little to use certain ingredients when cooking particular meals. A good musician must rely more on instinct rather than machines to be able to make a great musical work. Everything is created and defined clearly in his mind before he even goes to the studio. An athlete knows when he/she is on top of his game. Gadgets and devices can merely measure and confirm what the athlete already knows intuitively.

When we turn on our devices, the whole world, or at least what we allow of it, rushes into our consciousness. We hear from and about friends, families, old classmates, enemies and read stories about all types of people, countries everywhere, etc. We sigh, laugh, curse, complain, cry, feel joy and indignation, wonder and fear, and feel so may other feelings.

But even while we feel these emotions, very often they don’t linger long enough for us to go beyond ticking the  “likes” or “share” buttons. We have a moment of empathy, compassion, outrage but actually do nothing about these causes we reacted to. We end up moving from one story to another without doing anything concrete and helpful.

This constant and never-ending assault on our emotions and sensibilities may  have made us inured to any form of commitment beyond our superficial likes and shares, and the occasional comments.

It is so sad.

Day in and out, we are exposed to the tragic goings-on and evils of the world. Sure, we may feel the pain as we read but we comfort ourselves with the pathetic notion that  because we had reposted something or have ticked an angry or tearful emoticon, we have done enough.

The level of commitment we express online often does not match how we would really react in real life situations. As an example, we may vigorously express our anger and disgust at China and the present administration but we will not commit to joining rallies. Real life demands too much effort.

But in real life one has to physically show up. Nothing happens when no one shows up. We have to act and do something. I have been following the events in Hong Kong for a few weeks now. Hongkongers know the value of showing up and doing action. They have been rallying almost every day expressing their sentiments not just online but more importantly in the streets. We in the Philippines still have a lot to learn from them.

In this article, I am encouraging you my dear readers to live a bigger portion of your lives not in the virtual world but in the real one.  It is not easy since we have become so attached to technology. The word is full of problems to solve and causes to believe in and fight for. Life will never run out of challenges.

Once in awhile, it is good to leave cyberspace and allow uncertainty and unpredictability to shake us up. Let’s get down and dirty. Stop wasting time in cyberspace and get into the speed and flow of real life. Our gadgets can only help us so far. By itself, it will not be able to help us have fuller and more meaningful lives. Only real commitment in the battle field of life can give us such meaning.

So let’s take a break from having our heads in the cloud and get down to real living on earth. Let’s take time to talk, laugh, and interact live and in person.

As Irish netizen Paul McGirl wonderfully put it, “Technology is cold. Find a real hand to hold.”

Would you hug a stranger? 0

Posted on August 11, 2019 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – August 11, 2019 – 12:00am

‘Maybe we should stop being automatically fearful of each other. In life, we will all have to ask for help from people we don’t know.’

On a train from downtown Sydney a few years ago, I found myself sitting across from a tall white man. He was unkempt but not menacing. He was dressed like he was a tradesman wearing that signature neon green jacket. Normally, no one minds anyone during train rides. People enter, sit and get on and off without talking to each other. And so I was surprised when the man seated across from me called my attention to say it was his 53rd birthday tomorrow. I smiled and politely gave him my congratulations. I answered but without really meaning to continue the conversation. I remotely considered the possibility that he could be some kind of crazy guy. I avoided eye contact afterward.

After about two minutes, he addressed me again. He complained that his back hurt so much. I answered, “Is that so?” He kept on. And on. It seemed like he wanted a continuing conversation. I realized I was in a situation where I could not dismiss him and so I conversed with this man. I asked him why his back hurt so much. He said he was born with legs too long and so his back had been hurting for years. He opened his jacket to show me and judging from where his belt was, it did look like he had a short torso.

The next thing he said caught me by surprise. He said he wanted to commit suicide. I was stunned. I knew this was an “uh-oh” moment, to say the least. And I felt I was on the spot somehow. I instinctively looked straight into his eyes and said, “Please don’t.” I had hoped that his next words would be less disturbing since I really did not want to get involved. But he repeated that he wanted to end his life.

Here was a man who was clearly and desperately asking for help. This stranger had dropped his guard and exposed his deep loneliness. I was in full attention and heightened awareness.

I knew I was now in a serious situation I could not turn away from. I felt the magnitude of his pain. He continued talking. Actually, it was more like rambling. I could see his eyes swell up with tears as he narrated that he had lost his parents many years ago. He had no siblings nor a wife and children to come home to. He was miserably alone in his life. He repeated again that he wanted to commit suicide. At this point, I stood up from my seat and moved to where he was and sat down next to him.

I sat on his right side and put my hand behind his back. He started to sob while he covered his face with his hands. His elbows were resting on his knees. I put my left hand over his back, rubbing it as I said, “Please don’t commit suicide. Everything will be all right, sir.”

I did not know what else to say. He started crying uncontrollably. I pulled him closer and kept saying that everything would be okay. I told him that God was with him. I just kept on repeating the words, “It’ll be okay.” He seemed to be listening.

I caught myself hugging this stranger. Hugging is my instinctive way to give comfort and consolation. I wanted him to know that I was listening to him and was sympathetic to what he was going through. There were many other people on the train but they all avoided looking, much less having eye contact. They ignored what was going on.

I just sat there beside him.

Soon, the train had reached the station. It was where I was supposed to get off and transfer to another train to get home. I stayed seated beside him for a while consoling him as passengers got off and new ones came on the train. But I knew I had to leave very soon. I felt bad when I told him I had to leave. I whispered for the last time that, “God loves you, sir. Please don’t commit suicide.” I reluctantly left the train and went to my platform where the train home was ready to depart. I barely caught it. I entered a few seconds before the doors closed.

On the ride home, I sat quietly feeling a little guilty for not staying with him. It was a packed ride but I was alone in my solitude. I was emotional. It was quite a unique encounter I had just had. My mind was racing. Was it fate that I was put on the same train with this lonely man? I wondered if the man would actually kill himself. I wondered, too, whether I had helped him in any way or had done enough to prevent a stranger’s death by his own hands.

I wept silently and said a prayer for him. I prayed that somehow he could go past his feelings of suicide and make it through. I hoped he would go for professional help. I have helped strangers before but I had never faced a situation like this where I was actually bold enough to intervene in something so serious. I did not even know whether I was acting appropriately, culture-wise. Did I say the right things to make him feel better? I just hoped I did.

The next evening, I watched out for any news on television waiting to hear about suicides that may have occurred in the city. There were none. I felt some sort of relief. I will probably never know if he killed himself or not the following nights, or weeks, or even know what eventually happened to him.

I think about this incident often. It makes me wonder how many strangers out there are actually going through something so desperate that the prospect of suicide becomes an option. There are millions of people who live in big cities, and yet, ironically, one can still feel alone and alienated. So many people but no one to talk to. We are all going through something to some degree. But we are lost in our busy schedules trying to survive in this rat race, and we have unfortunately developed an attitude of not caring for others. And because of this, it has become a crueler world for everyone.

Maybe we should stop being automatically fearful of each other. In life, we will all have to ask for help from people we don’t know. I know many people, including myself, who have been beneficiaries of people’s kindness many times. I have also learned that a smile, offering a handshake, a simple hello can even lead to real, solid friendships.

By simply caring, we can all be more human again.

Read more at https://www.philstar.com/lifestyle/sunday-life/2019/08/11/1942232/would-you-hug-stranger#FrvWCpJyWxLtiWCA.99

Love yourself 0

Posted on August 04, 2019 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – August 4, 2019 – 12:00am
You can’t give love if you don’t have it. You can’t be running on empty.
When the song The Greatest Love of All came out on the airwaves, I remember being baffled by it.

“The greatest love of all is happening to me.
Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all.”

I was intrigued. There was no mention of loving one’s neighbor or anything like that in the song. I actually thought that it was quite a selfish statement. It sounded narcissistic.

Growing up in Ateneo, we were always reminded to be “men for others.” It was the Ignatian way. We were taught to sacrifice and serve others, the nation. In the words of St Ignatius, we were “To give and not to count the cost/To fight and not to heed the wounds/To toil and not to seek for rest/To labor and not to ask for reward/Save that of knowing that I do your will.”

It was a bit close to the end of the ‘80s when I had an epiphany about the song. I was attending a human potential workshop and the facilitator asked us what we were most proud of among the things we had done in life and to write them down. It was a quiet moment of intense self-reflection. As I thought of my achievements and personal bests, the great moments of my short life paraded before me as well as the pains I went through getting there. It was a mixed feeling. I realized I had paid a price for everything I had done. I began to feel the pain and sacrifice I had gone through. While I felt that, I also felt proud that I had the courage and fortitude to do them all. I knew I could not have achieved what I had done if I did not love or motivate myself enough to write songs and express the gifts God had given me.

Then the facilitator asked us to put the list close to our hearts in the dark room while we relived what we had gone through in our lives. The song Hero by Mariah Carey played. It was a moment like no other. I was so emotional. My life flashed before me and I saw my strengths and also how vulnerable I was. I realized what the song The Greatest Love of All finally meant.

It’s been at least two decades since then and my understanding of self-love has grown deeper. We need to love ourselves completely and that includes all our pluses and minuses, our innate goodness and weaknesses. We need to unconditionally accept and be comfortable being who we really are. We need our own love and self-acceptance first to be able to love anyone. The truth is you can’t give love if you don’t have it. You can’t be running on empty.

To be an evolved human being is to know oneself so well that you are acutely aware of your own fine print. It demands constant self-evaluation and introspection. You must establish contact with your deep self so it can tell you how you have been living and what you actually want to do in life. It requires an intimate self-audit. It means we have to honestly look inward and ask the truth about ourselves: what really motivates us, what makes us tick, what are we passionate about, what is integral about us that we will never give up, what is important and meaningful, what are we ready to live and die for, what makes us happy. These are questions we will keep asking ourselves throughout life.

Before you can love yourself, you must accept that you are not perfect. Look in the mirror and embrace all your brutalities, anomalies, your shadow side and aspects of you that you are ashamed to admit. You must deal with them. Believe it or not, your shadow side actually bears gifts for you. Instead of suppressing them you must recognize their energy, and accept them fully and integrate them with the rest of you. You will discover that instead of sabotaging you, they can actually make you stronger and more authentic. That is the miraculous transformation you need to be able to do to generate love for yourself before you can share it with others.

Anger, for example, is not always a bad thing. Anger can remind you that your boundaries have been crossed and violated. It can actually protect you. It also reminds you that you have been allowing certain things to go on repeatedly and that it is time to stop.

Passion, libido are energies that can be used for artistic pursuits or building a legacy. They make you feel alive and productive and spur you to action.

Envy can motivate you to do better by pushing yourself more. If you explore hate, you may even discover a few things you hate about yourself. You will also notice compassion growing within you as you learn to be more accepting, to love and be at home with yourself. Self-acceptance actually makes it easier to accept others.

The thought of being kinder, or treating yourself like you would a precious object is what I mean. With self-love come self-confidence, self-forgiveness, and healing. When you respect and love who you are, you may even find yourself not being defensive about criticism anymore. There is much more to you than your perceived faults. You are not easily shattered to pieces by what others think of you. In fact, it may not even be worth your while to care about what people think. There are more important things to do than tumbling for other people’s approval.

“Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others,” said American author Parker Palmer in his inspirational books. You are a unique human being with the task of being who you are in this world.

When my daughter Erica finished her high school, I gifted her with a song that summarized all I wrote above called Live Your Own Life:

“Don’t take my word or anyone else’s/What’s right for me may not be right for you/I have my own dreams/I live my own story/And someday soon you’ll be living yours too/So enjoy your own joys/Gain from your own pain/Dream your own dreams/Dance to your own song/It’s the only way to go/It’s the only road you’ll ever know.

“Live your own life/Feel it so you know it’s real/Hold on to your own truth/Live life without any fear/Decide your own fate/With bated breath the world awaits/Make your own mark/All you gotta do is start.

“There are no two people in this world who’ve got the same point of view/There’s no one else who’s gonna live your life better than you/So cry your own tears/Believe in your own cause/Don’t be afraid if sometimes you feel lost/It’s the only way to go/It’s the only way you’ll ever know.

“Live life without any fear/Decide your own fate/With bated breath the world awaits/Make your own mark/All you gotta do is start/Everything you need is inside of you/You’re the fire and breath of your own soul.”

GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

Read more at https://www.philstar.com/lifestyle/sunday-life/2019/08/04/1940285/love-yourself#0ER3IfJjHoP0w4eM.99

Why we need an inner life 0

Posted on July 28, 2019 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – July 28, 2019 – 12:00am 4 shares

I am amazed at how some people never seem to lose it. I am talking about people who always seem to be in control of their own personal situations. You never see them lose their temper. They know when to engage in an argument and when not to. And yes, they also know when to end it. They are not ruled by their own emotions.

They have a calmness about them that seems to permeate the room. People often defer to their presence. They almost always dictate the mood, and many times, also the topic when they speak without being forceful about it. People look up to them as leaders they respect.

I am not talking about big CEOs who intimidate others with their position and power. I am certainly not talking about some corrupt political and religious leaders — these temporal and so-called spiritual warlords who wield great influence and rule over the lives and consciences of their weak and ignorant subjects.

I am talking about people who seem capable of holding everything together in a way that inspires confidence and inspiration. I use the word “seem” because we do not see them 24/7. I am sure they also have their bad and weak moments just like everyone else. But what they do have that many do not possess is that inner strength, calmness, confidence and strength of character. They are centered on values they hold dear. All this while remaining humble.

Such people are special. I have met some engaged in different fields of endeavor and I know they spend time doing inner work, knowing themselves in all aspects and accepting themselves as who they are. People gravitate towards them because they emanate a wisdom and a bearing that shows they understand what is going on. They are also good listeners. That is why people are attracted to them.

I don’t know of any great person who does not have an inner life. Leaders in different fields such as sports, business, the arts, politics, religion etc. invest in quiet time, meditation, contemplation, prayer, tai chi, yoga, journaling, or just enjoy their time alone. They reflect a lot on what they do and what they want to achieve. They are guided by an inner compass.

They need this solitude. Life has too many illusions and delusions. Egos can easily be tempted and make people feel entitled to so many things. They need this balance between their inner and outer worlds. With this right balance, they can be as comfortable in solitude as they are in a crowd without losing themselves.

A person with integrity must not just walk the talk but learn to walk a fine line. Learning balance is so important. One must know when and how to adjust. As the late entrepreneur-writer Jim Rohn pointed out, “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”

A leader who does not have such skills rules by division and intimidation. He likes to instill fear. He bullies his enemies into submission. And he brings out the worst in people.

In today’s world, there are so few leaders who are willing to do the right thing. Populist leaders will say anything just to play to the peanut gallery or to fit the mood of the times. They will exploit the people’s basic fears and convince them that they alone can save the country. In reality, they end up making a mess of things. Their proclaimed love for their country and people is a lie. The weaker ones buy into their rhetoric.

More than at any other time, we need leaders who can challenge and inspire people to be and do better. Leaders who are not afraid to say what is true and right at the risk of their own popularity. “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.” This was articulated by former US First Lady Rosalyn Carter. In short, he/she must not just be an astute leader who can recognize consensus; he/she must also be able to inspire and sell their vision. And we need this now more than ever.

There are tough issues that must be faced squarely and with resolve. It takes moral courage to do so. Angela Merkel allowed a million immigrants into Germany because she believed it was the moral thing to do. Whether you agree with her or not, one can’t call her a weakling for doing this.

Obama, despite a hostile and racist senate and congress that blocked practically all of his legislative initiatives, was able to inspire his country to move forward. Mandela was able to lead a nation whose racist government once saw him as a very dangerous man. And yet he was the one who put an end to apartheid in South Africa.

I have sat with Vice President Leni Robredo a few times. I have never seen a calmer person. No, she is not “laid-back” at all. In fact, she is always actively listening, connecting, and diving into a deep pool of personal experience to answer questions. She has a lot of practical knowledge about governance. Before she was chosen to be the vice presidential candidate, I witnessed her impressively respond to 35 questions about governance and politics before a group of about 40 people. Her answers were not general at all. They were specific and nuanced, implying that she had been thinking deeply about the problems of our nation for years. She did not play to her audience with flattery or motherhood statements. It was amazing to see up-close a genuine leader with knowledge, strength of morals and conviction.

There is a Zen saying that goes, “What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” The superior man/woman knows where the levers of power really are and how to use them without losing oneself. There are too many small men in the world who have not invested in their inner life and believe that materialism and the acquisition of wealth and power are all that matters. That is very sad.

Sometimes, I like to gaze at the local political landscape looking for new leaders that will lead this nation into a better future. I see some promising ones who have started quite well. I hope they do not burn out too quickly.

And I do hope they cultivate an inner life. May their compassion awaken. May their strength of character, conscience and noble ambitions translate into good governance.

Read more at https://www.philstar.com/lifestyle/travel-and-tourism/2019/07/28/1938344/why-we-need-inner-life#Z1f1uWBTOuW38I16.99

Memories of rain 0

Posted on July 21, 2019 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – July 21, 2019 – 12:00am

The rainy season can get a lot of people jittery about many things. There are the floods, destruction, cancellation of classes and workdays, sicknesses and expenses to worry about. For some, it can also mean great loss of lives and property depending on their circumstances. While all these are real concerns that I, too, worry about to some degree, I have a more positive attitude about the season.

I mostly like the rain. The whole rainy season is, in general, a treat for me. I must admit that unlike many people, I like to see the dark clouds, the heavy overcast and the drop in temperature. I like the sound of light pitter-pattering on the roof and a heavy downpour. I even like the thunder and lightning. It feels awesome to see nature’s power flexing itself and doing what it was meant to do.

As a young boy, I remember sitting by the windowsill and watching typhoons come and go. It was awesome. The rains would be pouring sideways, depending on which direction the winds blew. I would sit for hours enchanted at the nature show going on. Strong winds would bend the trees and tall grass. Leaves would be flying all over the place. But the rain would make the whole garden wet and fresh-looking after.

Seeing lightning was, and still is, a thrill. My life Lydia always gets shaken by it. When lightning flashes, I count one to 10 while waiting for the thunder to follow. Depending on how long you count, you can measure how far lightning will strike (if it does). The longer you wait, the farther it is from you.

When I was around 10 years old, I was introduced to The Iliad and The Odyssey, which talked a lot about Greek gods and goddesses. During storms, I would imagine them causing all the ruckus that was going on in the heavens.

In grade school, I remember walking through floods along Santa Mesa to get to our house in Pureza from Ateneo. Flooding was frequent there. After walking through muddy water, we would normally wash our shoes and put them out to dry behind the refrigerator. The next day, they would be dry enough to use for school. Sometimes, they would be too dry, so they felt kind of toasty and hard. But we were of a stronger generation so we hardly complained about such minor issues. Suffering and inconvenience built character, as I learned later on. But that’s another topic.

One time, classes were abruptly canceled while we were already in school. There was hardly any public transportation to ride. I remember my brother Raffy and I started walking home from school hoping to catch a bus along the way. But the buses were few and far between and were filled up with commuters. We ended up walking the whole distance from Ateneo to our house. We arrived home soaking wet but exhilarated at what we had accomplished.

As a high school student, I remember walking up and down our street in Cubao during that big typhoon Yoling. Torrential rain was pouring but that did not stop my brother and me from going outside to play. The winds were extremely gusty. We would see parts of roofs flying all over the place. We were reckless, true, but we sure had so much fun.

Decades later during typhoon Ondoy, I was watching the rain from my room on the second floor as people on our street negotiated their way through the rising floodwaters. Soon enough, the waters had reached up to their waists. In a short while, it was already neck-deep. It all happened in just a few minutes. I had never seen floodwaters as high as that in our neighborhood.

I actually opened our gates so people could come in in case they wanted a respite from the floods. I would call them from my window. At some point, I knew the water would enter the house. Meanwhile, I had prepared for the inevitable. I made sure some of our furniture was put on top of tables to protect it from the waters. Even if our home was much higher than the street, the floodwaters still entered the house. Thank God it was just below knee-deep. But it was still distressing.

I had forgotten about my vinyl collection of about 400 albums, which I’d left on the floor of a storage closet. When the floodwaters had receded, I looked at the boxes of vinyl. It was heartbreaking. I decided to throw all the album covers away but kept the records to clean them later.

That night, I also opened my house to a few people whose homes were completely flooded. They stayed a few days. I remember feeling guilty about how small my concerns were compared to what many people were going through.

The very next day, my daughter Erica had turned our house into some kind of relief center where many of her friends prepared food packages for flood victims using their own money. It soon spread on social media. Random strangers would come and donate money and goods. Erica and friends were able to make thousands of relief packages that they themselves distributed in different places in Marikina. I was so proud of them. Rain can inspire people to do good things.

Rain also inspires people to make music. There are songs that are great to listen to during the rainy season. One of the songs I remember when I was about eight years old was a short ditty that was played over FM stations. The lyrics went,

Everybody’s talking ‘bout the weather.

If you don’t like the weather, change it.

It had a sweet melody and was sung lightheartedly by a female harmony group. I loved the sarcasm.

Some other songs come to mind. Ryan Cayabyab’s Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka (in all versions), Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, Pumapatak Na Naman Ang Ulan, and Rain by the Beatles. There are many more.

Two years ago, during a big downpour, I actually went outside the garden into the rain. With great abandon, I took off my shirt and went for it. I stayed under a tall downspout that collected water from the roof and had an extravagant shower. It was wonderful. I caught myself one moment shouting with delight.

It all came back to me — that primal joy I felt in my childhood when my sibs and I would spontaneously just run out of the house when it rained. There was no thinking about it. No hesitation. No asking permission. It was something that we knew was fun and we just jumped into it. As adults, we think too much sometimes and become too conditional about pursuing simple joys. Rain can be liberating.

Nothing tops staying in bed on a rainy morning. The softness and warmth of pillows and blankets are comforting. There is also mild melancholia that comes with it. It is a nice feeling. One can only sigh when faced with the powerful beauty of rain. We are helpless and resigned. We willingly surrender.

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” This gem comes from poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

So let it pour. Keep safe and enjoy this splendor of nature as it refreshes the earth and our spirit.

(P.S.: I wrote this article while watching the rain through the window).

Small acts that can actually change the world 0

Posted on July 14, 2019 by jimparedes

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SHARES

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE – Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – July 14, 2019 – 12:00am

Life is hard. We don’t have to make it harder. The world is cruel enough as it is. I am making a list that is doable and can result in making life easier for everyone on an everyday basis. Some items may be easy. Others will need a change of attitude. I hope they become ingrained as habits.

Here goes.

1) I cannot say it more emphatically. Follow all traffic rules.

2) Always say “Please” and “Thank you.” Be sincere and look at the person you say these words to.

3) Try to lessen the noise level wherever you are. You can talk more softly while walking along streets, especially at night. Be considerate of your neighbors. You can also lower the volume of your car stereo when you are parked and your doors are open. You can avoid honking your car horn, too.

4) When you want something, as much as possible do not burden others to do it for you, especially if you can do it yourself.

5) When you are too angry, write down your feelings first. Wait a few hours before you decide to throw away that piece of paper or post it on social media.

6) Whenever possible, be aware of and respect everyone’s physical and emotional space.

7) Be kind and courteous to kasambahays, waiters, vendors, salespeople, taxi drivers, security guards, barangay tanods, small public officials who serve us daily.

8) When you have the sudden impulse to buy something, let the moment pass. If you still want it after a day, wait another day. Ask yourself if you really want it or need it. It is important that you know the difference. It happens often that a so-called must-have purchase loses its appeal shortly after you get it, and it ends up as trash piled up in your room.

You may ask, how does this make life easier for other people? It does because you will be one less confused person in this world. You will have more self-awareness, discernment and, hopefully, will do less harm to others.

9) Learn to really listen to people before giving advice. Everyone has something correct to say.

10) Change the oil of your car regularly. That simple act will save the lungs of people who have to breathe in your car exhaust.

11) No matter what the situation is, do not litter: do not throw out your garbage randomly. Especially, do not throw garbage out of your car. That is barbaric behavior and disrespectful to all sentient beings on the road. It is also dangerous. Look for a trash can. Or better yet, lessen your garbage by living more simply.

12) Learn restraint and judgment so you can stop yourself from participating in every argument that comes your way. In terms of your time and blood pressure, most of them are probably not worth it anyway. You do not need more stress.

13) When you can lift up peoples’ spirits in your daily grind, do so even with just a small gesture. Say something kind. Smile. Everybody is going through something. Maybe you can ease some of their pain.

14) Help old and disabled people cross the street when the opportunity arises.

15) Say no to one-time-use plastic bags. Refuse them when offered. Bring your own bag or container when buying stuff.

16) Do not encourage misogynistic, vulgar behavior even if everybody else seems supportive of it. Say no and show your displeasure.

17) When you are with people who are much older than you, consider the possibility that this could be the last time you may be seeing them. Be kind. Pay attention. Show compassion. Learn from every moment with them and treasure the lessons.

18) Do random, wanton acts of kindness towards strangers. As much as other people have helped you in the past, your simple act may actually be the prayer they are asking for. Trust that a kind act will always lead to good.

19) Do not pass on fake news. It is morally wrong and only makes the world a more cruel and confused place.

20) Get to know your neighbors. You don’t have to wait for an emergency to get to know them. Strike up a conversation when you can. It makes the neighborhood safer and friendlier and it builds community.

21) Keep your body active. Take long walks. Jump. Run. Do physical stuff repeatedly. An active body is less prone to depression and sickness. You will be one less person your friends and relatives will have to worry about. And that is good, right?

22) Look out for beautiful things throughout the day. Notice the flowers that sprouted in your garden overnight. Sigh at the sunset. Enjoy that wind that suddenly blew your way. Look for positivity and beauty everywhere in every moment. I like to imagine that everything in the world shows up because it keeps a sacred appointment with me. I must reciprocate. In this way, the mundane can awaken our sense of wonder. It can make us feel grateful just to be alive.

22) Have a few small snacks in the car ready to give to beggars. We used to do this off and on. Instead of giving money, which may end up in syndicates’ pockets, at least you can nourish these hapless people by giving them bodily sustenance.

23) Be less conditional when it comes to seeking happiness. Be happy with less. Be more accepting, open-minded and less judgmental. The only way suffering can become a blessing is if we embrace it. That’s how frogs turn into princes. And when you are happy and content, you automatically pass it on.

24) Check on friends and relatives who may be depressed or going through a rough time. A simple call or visit can do them wonders.

25) Finally, a special lesson for men. When using public toilets, please lift the seat so that the next guy who needs it for a bigger undertaking will not have to use the wet seat you may have left behind. It can be a big deal.

We’ve heard it all before — that we can all do something to make the world a kinder place. No one is asking anyone to be Superman or be the savior of mankind. If we all did something, no matter how small, things add up and can change quickly for the better. That is all that is asked of us.

How I want to go 0

Posted on July 07, 2019 by jimparedes

Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) – July 6, 2019 – 12:00am

MANILA, Philippines — Last June was the saddest month I have experienced in a long while. Too many people I knew passed on. I attended four wakes. That was too much for me. I was not even able to attend all the wakes of all those I knew who died.

The ages of the deceased were varied. They represented the young, the middle-aged, the aging and the very elderly. It seemed like people I knew were dying at a faster rate than usual the past month. It was brutal.

My wife balked at attending all the wakes. She attended just one. Some of the wakes I went to seemed sadder than usual because some of the deaths occurred under sudden tragic circumstances.

Death is always a shock even when we kind of expect it to happen. The biggest shocks are those that happen almost without warning. One day a person is alive and seemingly in the pink of health. The next day, he or she are gone from the earthly plane.

While I was at the wakes, I tried to acutely observe everything that went on. I paid attention to a lot of things. I wanted to understand what death meant to all the people inside the chapels. For the departed’s immediate family, loved ones and close friends, the death is clearly a huge loss, an overwhelmingly sad affair. They bear emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and financial pain. A loved one is gone. There are regrets and could-have-beens that are expressed, or sometimes not. The pain cuts deep and personal. The time for any rectification is passed.

To other visitors, there is the sadness of seeing those left behind dealing with death with such great difficulty. There is also that awkwardness and inadequacy (no matter how sincere we are) of trying to express condolence and grief to comfort the feelings of those left behind, knowing that nothing we say can really replace the loss. And yet, we still express them. Well, because we have to. We also feel some loss. No one can restore what has been taken away. We can only sympathize and pray and hope it helps somehow.

When Jacqui Magno died, it affected me quite deeply even if I was already expecting it. I knew she was terminally ill. Knowing I would never speak to her or hear her sing live again was quite devastating. At the wake, I watched a collage of pics on the screen showing her at different times in her life. She was so alive, beautiful and filled with zest. I remembered all the different times when our paths crossed. I knew her as the best friend of an ex-girlfriend in college, a recording artist I produced, a fellow performer on stage, a friend whom I got quite close to on different occasions.

All that is passed and gone will never come back again. We all just have to move on as best we can. There is nothing else to do.

At every single moment, we are moving closer to death. That is a fact. Death is inescapable. There is nothing morbid about this. While we will never know when it will happen, one way I prepare for it is to be less attached to things that I can’t take with me in the afterlife. I must learn detachment. Another is to have a sense of urgency.

Coming home last night from a wake of a friend who suddenly fell ill and died of sepsis in less than 24 hours, it dawned on me how much time I was wasting doing nothing and not acting fast enough on important callings and dreams. I told Lydia that I still had so much music I wanted to write and record. I still want to help people in ways that would make them evolve into something better than what they know about themselves. I want to spend more time with my family, my friends and classmates, meet new people, travel to places that I have not visited, write essays, books, do a lot of photography. I also want to keep taking long walks and enjoy my body while I am still healthy. I want to touch lives in the ways that I can. I also want to continue my efforts at fighting for democracy and human rights in our country.

Years ago, I told Lydia that when I die, I would want my body to be thrown into the sea to be fed to the fishes. At least then, even in death, my carcass would sustain ocean life forms. I was very much into diving then. It was a less selfish option than being buried in a cemetery which deprives land from the living.

But after studying how difficult it would be to carry this out, especially for my family who found it too grotesque, I changed my mind. I now wish to be cremated. I do not want to be in a coffin with people gawking at me. But before I am disposed of, I wish to donate any healthy organs I may still have to help the living who may need them.

I also would not like the usual big flower arrangements at my funeral. They smell of death and evoke sadness. Instead, I would like people to use the money they would have spent for the flowers to help pay for scholarships for poor students. Instead of flowers, I want photos everywhere of friends, loved ones and memorabilia hanging on the walls. I would like my music to be played in the room, and fellow performers to sing songs for everyone. I want a celebration, laughter, but also moments of thoughtful reminiscing and remembrances. I would like some quiet time, too, where people can sit and meditate if they wish.

If it were my choice, I would still want to live longer. Much longer. I still have many things I would like to do. I do not want to die with too much unfinished business. There are things to settle, people to forgive and to ask for forgiveness from. Hopefully, I will use the time I have left wisely and purposely. I am aware it is not our choice as to when we will die. Our only choice is how to live the rest of our days before we expire.

At our age, the choice is to either slow down, do nothing and simply fade away when the time comes; or, we could use our remaining lives staying creative till the end, as we build up to that moment when we pass on like stars exploding in the night, leaving beautiful trails that light up the sky.

What a way to say goodbye!

That’s how I want to go!

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