Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes


For her and him..

Posted on July 03, 2007 by jimparedes

While many people in America are currently entertaining themselves with their newly purchased iphones, I am tripping on two products I came across recently. I have not used them and probably never will (as you will see later), but I am amused that they are part of this universe we live in.

I was not looking for them but somehow, they found their way into my presence and consciousness and I guess that’s a pretty good sign that they should be blog material.

One product was shown to me by my sister-in-law Vangie Mabanta. It is called Anion. It is panty liner and comes in a box and it is manufactured in China. There’s nothing unusual about that since everything seems to be coming from China these days, until we read the directions for use printed on the package. I am quoting verbatim.

“Functions:
1. Inside the cunt, anion can promote the exchange of biological enzyme;
2. In sanitary napkin, the anion chip can instantly absorb blood.”

Apparently, the Chinese-to-English translator must have learned his English lessons by watching porno. Ha ha.

Here’s more:

*** it comes with “lady vagina inflammation self-test paper”. Whut…?

I am guessing that they wanted to be clear that it does not come with ‘men’s vagina’ inflammation self-test paper, just in case we were looking for that.

The other product is something Lydia discovered somewhere and gave it as a gag gift to my brother-in-law Peter Gonzales who celebrated his 50th birthday last week. I also brought one to Sydney for Mio who had a good laugh. I assure you, it was not given to them because they need it.

The product is called “PENI FRESH”. It is an “Antiseptic Male Organ Wash Soap”. On the label, it says,

“Male Hygenic HERBAL Soap that keeps your private part clean and free from unpleasant odor due to bacteria. Clinically proven to be safe, mild and gentle. Use morning and night or as needed for best great feeling. TUTTI-FRUTTI FLAVOR.

It’s a product from Sweden but manufactured by ORO Laboratories in Quezon City.

I thought I had seem everything.

Meanwhile, my iphone can wait while I relish this amusement.

* * *

PS. If you posted comments a few days ago and did not see it, it’s my fault. Someone anonymous posted some 25 pages of nonsense which prompted me to moderate comments. I forgot to change back the settings.

Anyway, you can now comment as usual and you will see your comment promptly. I still reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or malicious.

12 to “For her and him..”

  1. Anonymous says:

    hahaha! chinese to english translations are always amusing. you get double the fun when you’re watching a chinese action movie with english subtitles when the english subtitles don’t make sense (or are the literal translations without the English grammar and syntax.)

    tutti frutti flavour and biological enzymes. classic!

    michelle b/ausfilipina mag

  2. Jim says:

    Yup. Somehow things go crazy when translated. I love it!!

  3. cbs says:

    i love the translation, too. whoever did it can probably deconstruct finnegan’s wake for me.

    naalala ko yung edible panties nung araw, may flavor din, vanilla, strawberry etc, tas sabi nung barkada ko dapat daw may local version, adobo etc flavor. oo nga naman, kung nag-craving bigla si mister ng afritada, susuot lang ni esmi yung panty. ayus, chibugan na!

  4. Jennie says:

    Engrish is the best! You can actually find more of these in this website: http://www.engrish.com

  5. zherwin says:

    the tutti-frutti-flavor got me laughing, why would a soap be tutti-frutti-flavored? hehehe

    got a nice laugh there. 😀

  6. Anonymous says:

    alam na alam namin Jim pag nandito ka sa Oz,..mabilis ma update at maraming nasusulat sa blogsite mo…

  7. Jim says:

    cbs–haha. That was the rage for awhile,,,

    jennie–I visited it. Funny!!

    zherwin–oo nga. Unless….

    anonymous–haha. Life is calmer here. mas masarap magsulat at may oras.

  8. sardonicnell says:

    i couldn’t help but laugh out loud when i red the part about male version of antiseptic wash. what is our world coming up to? but then again, that’s ingenuity right there! i wonder what’s next…

    ps: nice blog, mr jim!

  9. Benette says:

    jim, have you seen michael moore’s SICKO? I just saw it and i am wondering how’s the health system in australia? Is it socialized? Do you have to have hEALTH INSURANCE?
    Just curious and medyo off topic..
    thanks.

  10. Jim says:

    sardonicnell–Yes. What IS the world coming gto? ha ha.Thanks.

    Bennette–We have medicare here although people are encouraged to get insurance pa rin. Anyone can go to a doctor, and get test done and get medicated for free. Medicines are not free but subsidized for some.

    One can get immediate service in hospitals if it is an emergency. If it is not, you have to wait in line.

  11. niki says:

    LOLZ! those chinese to english translations are really a riot! i remember my mom brought a beauty product (chinese-made) some years back and i was like laughing and crying while reading the instructions! i hope i can still find it and share it here, hahaha!

  12. rowena says:

    hi jim, i was feeling blue then i decided to visit your site. grabe, suddenly i was laughing so hard alone in my room…tutti frutti flavor huh..LOL



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