Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes

Of vaginas, sex gurus and our children

Posted on December 04, 2015 by jimparedes

Boyoboy! What can I say? What some ppl will do.

A few years back, I interviewed Mocha Uson, entertainer, dancer and self-proclaimed sex instructor on youtube who was getting millions of hits on her blog.

Lo and behold! From out of the blue, she recently lambasted me on her site because I am not for Duterte. She made twisted comments about me which I suppose is for the purpose of discrediting me. I interviewed her in 2012. That was the first and last time we ever met. (The post-traumatic ‘shock’ she felt only now, 4 years after came because I am not a Duterte fan. Very strange). LOL

If you are interested, look up her article on her site. Here is my response.

Mocha naman. We are all entitled to our own opinion. My beef with Duterte is human rights.

I interviewed you extensively sometime ago to write an article for my column but editor said it was not for Sunday reading. Yes, my interview with you was a largely about your sexual persona and you knew it was about that prior to the interview. You volunteered a lot of lurid info even without my asking. You like sex and you are proud to be an advocate of free sex. Nothing wrong with that.

Did I ask those things you said I did? I honestly cant remember. I can look for the audio. You were very candid, almost bragging pa nga which from an interviewers point of view is great. From what you told me I don’t think anything can shock you. I think you are exaggerating your reaction. You are certainly not a blushing flower.

But there was MUCH MORE to the interview.. I also asked you about your childhood. YOur mom who is a pediatrician and cancer survivor, your dad who was a judge and was murdered, where you went to school, how you felt about the murder and so many other things. I wanted to understand where you were coming from since your public persona is about sex and your sites were getting millions of hits.

I also wanted a perspective where I could humanize you and bring out other aspects of you aside from what was obvious. .

I think its pretty darn cheap of you to twist things just because you hate my politics. Labo nun. I treated with great respect. I did no harm to you. I will post the article if you wish. Let me find it.

Here is the article that never saw print. Did I insult you? Make you bastos? Or was your imagined reaction caused by your political intolerance? Be honest girl!

Of vaginas, sex gurus and our children
By Jim Paredes (Written right after our interview in 2012)

I finally got to watch the Vagina Monologues a few days ago. It was quite an entertaining and illuminating show and I wasn’t surprised. It had a subject that was at the very least risqué and perhaps taboo to many and its in-your-face approach to discussing vaginas in all its varied glory, beauty, fascination, mystery and allure assured everyone’s rapt attention. It also talked about angry vaginas, raped and humiliated vaginas, heroic and strong vaginas like those that birth children, etc..

What I found ingenius was how playwright Eve Ensler approached her material. The way I would describe it is this: she wanted to scream about it tabloid style with calculated prurience and malice for shock value. And when she had gotten the audience‘s attention, her real intention was to lead them on further seducing them to go into a wider and deeper exploration so to speak and ruminate on the political, religious, social, economic , ecological issues that affect the female half of humanity. In so doing, she got the audience to smile, laugh, wonder, feel good, feel angry, disgusted, and cry, sigh, applaud, and appreciate the struggles of women everywhere in the world. And yes, in the process, she would make her audience feel empowered to do something to correct injustices against women and girls.

But wait! I must stop right here. This is not really an article about the play although it also deals with sex and vaginas too. I wrote a little about VM because, like Ensler, I somehow wanted to situate the topic of this article. And it’s about a person whose blog I visited a few times, and whose videos I watched.

I am talking of Mocha Uson, a 25 year old modern girl who sings and performs with a group, dances and says and does shocking things that would upset many people. She is, to say the least, controversial, reckless, daring, bold and yes, quite courageous in the things she espouses through her blog, tweets, videos, live performances and the way she carries herself as a person.

To the more religious, prudish, and reserved, she can best be described as slutty, cheap, a loose woman of low morals and ill-repute, and easily condemnable since she is a walking, breathing, living corrupt influence to the youth, espousing evil hedonistic sex, and yes, the devil incarnate herself! How can she not be? She after all espouses such horrid things like safe sex, daily orgasms, heterosexual, homosexual and lesbian sex, endorses sex toys and gives her opinion to anyone who would care to watch her videos, or tweet a question about techniques to make sex more enjoyable.

What made an impression on me when I visited her blog was that she had already gotten more an unbelievable number of hits, mostly from Pinoys and Pinays of all ages, sexual orientation, and from different parts of the world. They read her opinions on the RH bill, lesbianism, orgasms, sexual hygiene, masturbation which are quite articulately expressed. They also watch her videos where she explains and performs with her female friend and sex buddy demos and simulations (with clothes on) on masturbation, seduction, finding the G-spot, stimulating the clitoris, pleasing both male and female partner, etc. They are surprisingly quite informative, often sexy but can on occasion also be clinical in their approach to the topic. And since it is evident that they have done practical and hands on research on the topics and have few inhibitions talking about it, they are believable and credible to many.

I was quite curious to know more about this internet phenomenon and so arranged to meet her and find out if a) she was ‘real’, and b) if I could write about her. We met over coffee and we were immediately relaxed in each others’ presence and got to talk freely. Sex of course was the main topic. She was open, frank, and was at times boastful. I felt that she enjoyed pushing the limit to get a reaction.

But I wanted more. I do not know if you will believe me but I was very eager to get to know more about the real person behind the sexual persona that a lot of people only see but follow.

She talked about her family and her school life. There seemed to be very little extraordinary stuff that happened to her while growing up save for her father’s assassination years back. It may have had something to do with his being an RTC judge. Her mother is a pediatrician and a cancer survivor. She has sibs, and grew up in a middle class setting. She went to a Catholic school for college.

I wanted to put on an amateur psychologist’s cap and elicit anecdotes or stories from childhood that may have ‘led’ her to become the self-styled sex guru that she is now. I was hard put to find any explanations.

No, she was not driven to sex because she was molested, raped , abused as a young girl, or any of the sort that some may explain to justify her behavior. No such thing ever happened. Hers was a not-so-uncommon tale of a typical ‘awakening’ which was pretty much a ‘stumbling upon’ on sex early in life with a female classmate. Not long after, she got very interested in it, and her belief in the healing, liberating and plain fun aspects of sex has made her not just a ‘practitioner’ if you will, but also an ardent advocate.

It is hardly surprising how her overtly sexual stance, opinions, conversation and actions online and on stage can get throngs of people quite interested in her. She matter-of-factly showed me a remote controlled, silent clitoral vibrator she keeps in her bag which she uses often and endorses.

‘Bisexual, not gay’, as she likes to describe herself. She explains to me that while she has a girl partner at present, she would still like to end up with a man but who will allow her to date other girls occasionally.

I asked her what other passions she had and she said that aside from her crusading for the RH bill (‘Responsible Horniness’ as she likes to call it) and condom use, she likes performing with her group and cooking.

Throughout the conversation, I was again amazed at how strange the power of celebrity can be or how a person from showbiz, more than a scientist or an expert with a PHD can reach out to a wider audience. There is Dra. Margie Holmes, a sexologist who captured the Filipino audience decades ago and continues to do so today. But then, she hasn’t come close to generating millions of hits on the net nor does she get as many emails as Mocha Uson does.

All this drives the point of how being a celebrity can make one so influential. Tech savvy-ness is key if you want your message and persona to go viral. But this also calls for emerging social media stars to be more responsible in disseminating their messages.

This is by no means an admonition of Mocha Uson for disseminating all this sex info on the net. I find it healthy that sexuality which is a huge part of every person’s unique identity is now being discussed with greater candor and acceptance from people everywhere.

To parents, teachers, and those involved in the formation of young people’s values, I think it is now appropriate to adopt some boldness in discussing such topics. It is obvious that the kids are ready. And it would be better if they heard it first from people they respect, those they are close to and who love them.

4 to “Of vaginas, sex gurus and our children”

  1. jumi07 says:

    If you could post the audio, good sir.

    • jimparedes says:

      Tried to look for it. It has been 4 years. The audio was on an old fone which I had cleared and given away. Besides, it is too revealing on her part kasi nagyayabang siya nuon trying to get a reaction. Wag na. I treated her decently . The article shows it.

  2. Cherrie says:

    The article was written very well sir jim… It was very decent unlike what she is saying now…

  3. Maria Alcantara says:

    I agree , the article is done in good taste despite a very provocative subject . Kudos to you for responding to her post head on .

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