Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes

Cracked Oracle’s Crystal Ball

Posted on January 01, 2005 by jimparedes

While searching Google for “2005 Predictions” I went through 50 pages of the subject and stumbled on some interesting calls from astrologers, lifestyle forecasters, political observers, bloggers and just plain hacks and quacks. I peered through their crystal balls—business, economic, political, religious, fashion, personal and after getting info overload decided to list down some notable ones. Well, kinda! I must admit that I mostly went for the trivial, strange and the weird. In these days of world disasters of epic proportions, it’s a needed diversion to swim in safe, shallow pools of the inane kind. Here are random predictions or hunches of what’s in store for 2005. See the list below:

-On Cuisine: There is a move towards the cuts such as oxtails and pigs’ cheeks”

—Jeff Bland.

Aha! The world will finally discover what we Filipinos have loved all along, SISIG! Will dinuguan be next?

-On Lifestyle:New study will link mobile phone use to high phone bills.—Halfbaker.

Really now! This is quite an astute observation!

-On Movies: “Deck Dogz is a fast-paced teen skater movie which tracks three boys as they embark on a journey to meet their hero, a legendary skate champion. It’s a journey which ultimately catapults the boys from adolescence to manhood. This movie will likely win WORST MOVIE OF 2005”—Superluke

Hmmm…I know a few filmfest movies which can disprove this!

-On Personal: “I’ll get laid”.—Great Big Blog, Jeremy

Way to go, Jeremy!

-On Technology
A means of transporting materials in a “Star Trek” style transporter, will be introduced, starting small and then working up to large scale objects. Fed-Ex will immediately buy and license the technology to stay in business. The airline business will be very worried as a result of first trials of human transport proving successful—IAmAWitch.com.

Does this mean that she (IAmAWitch) will be giving up her broom to go from place to place?

-On End-Of-The-World: There are at present 19 end-of-the-world prophecies but none of them are predicted to happen in 2005. The closest is June 6, 2006 (6-6-6).–Prophecy Factoid

Except perhaps for people in the Philippines who thrive on doomsday scenarios everyday!

A Business insight: How can you reach a 19-year-old undergrad, a 31-year-old on the career path, and a 47-year-old who’s raising a toddler-with just one message? Market to all of them as if they’re 35.—Entrepreneur.com

Hooray! We may finally see more actors and actresses on TV commercials who will look like they are past adolescence!

-On Medicine: A disease will attack our armpits.—True Or False? Call in predictors

This is a real cause for
(underarm) alarm!!

-On Politics: Those who voted against Bush will drink more heavily during 2005
.-CW in Ohio

This is also probably true for those who voted for GMA!

-From a Pinoy Psychic: Iran and Iraq will boost their tourist industry by 110% because of their elegant and sophisticated hotel accommodations and unique sightseeing of these countries.

The devaluation of the Philippine peso will reach its lowest – 85.00 pesos to the dollar. However, returning Filipinos, Balikbayans, will be returning to the Philippines in thousands everyday just to stay for a day or two just to eat their favorite delicacy such as “halo-halo”, “dinuguan”, “pancit Palabok” or just to have that cold “San Mig” at the International Airport and go back to their plane and return to the land of Milk and Honey!

–Boyet of Ultimate Bulletin Board


-On Famous People: A prominent male will pass away before the end of November 2005, with complete TV coverage. It may be the Pope, Billy Graham, Michael Jackson or Dick Cheney.-Visions of reality website

-On George Dubya: “I predict that George W. Bush will be kidnapped by terrorists who will hold him hostage in an undisclosed “spider hole” and force him to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger’s early films. After that Bush will oppose Arnold’s bid for amending the Constitution.”–Alec Baldwin, Actor

Hey Alec, I can tell you’re a democrat.

–On Books
: “It will be discovered that because of a secret code in the ISBN number of Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code, bookstore computers that scanned the number were counting each sale as 1,000 sales. This discovery will result in the book finally dropping off the bestseller list after two years, and a recount will show that The Da Vinci Code was actually on the bestseller list for only three weeks. Something similar will be discovered regarding electronic voting machines all over the country, resulting in a new presidential election. The new president will be Dan Brown.” –Nelson DeMille, Author

–This and that: Monica Lewinsky doing stand up comedy.—Nikki-Psychic to the stars

Uhm,,,She must be tired of kneeling.

-On Bill Gates: Bill Gates will start blogging…. Gates will eventually abandon the project, after an avalanche of negative comments and spam weight down his host server. –ItSeemsToMe Blog

It will be a case of “nagabaan”.

If this is as bad as it can get this coming year, it will still be a better one than 2004. Seriously now, however the year turns out, I hope that your experience of 2005 will be a happy one leading you to greater creativity and happiness. May peace, love, wealth, good health, and all the other goodies of life be abundant. And may you discover the gift of seeing the hidden graces behind the seemingly not-so-good events thrown our way. In short, a toast to life, and all its details!!!

Have a great one!

* * * *

Some last notes: I would llike to thank Rommel De Leon (Blogging With Passion and Compassion) for giving me a 10 CD Ken Wilber set (my favorite author) when we finally met here in Manila after months of reading each others blogs!

Also, I will be running a Creativity workshop this January 24, 26, 28, 31, 2, 4 at the Rockwell at 7 to 9PM. If you are interested, write me at jimparedes@gmail.com and I will send you a syllabus. Or call at 9290230 to reserve or ask for details. Thanks!

0 to “Cracked Oracle’s Crystal Ball”

  1. Daniel says:

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