Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes

Archive for January 12th, 2012

Thoughts about maturity 1

Posted on January 12, 2012 by jimparedes

Maturity is something a lot of people fear. I think know why. They equate it with suffering. They see ‘mature’ and think of people being ‘responsible’ and they do not like what they see. They see killjoys. They see responsibility. For example, they see people suffering in a relationship but staying in it because it is the mature thing to do to painfully sort out issues. Why not just have partners and change when the thrill is gone, or when it’s time to change? They see people working hard to send kids to school, pay for a house because it is the mature thing to do when you raise a family. Why not just relax and take it easy? They see people depriving themselves of instant gratification even if they can afford it.

And the perception may have real basis because they see so many ‘mature’ people suffering in the world.
But I would like to say, what people are seeing is is an incomplete picture.
The whole idea in being mature is to develop the ability to understand reality and deal with it. There are bills to be paid. There are things to hurdle emotionally, psychologically in order to love fully. Life has to be dealt with. Painful decisions must be faced. And that demands some sort of suffering.

To be mature is to comprehend and accept that there are a lot of things going on in the world aside from one’s whims, likes and preferences. It is to suffer for a time until lessons are learned and the world is understood. It is the taming of the wild, juvenile and immature spirit. After a while and with great effort, it becomes less painful, more tolerable and then the suffering eases a great deal. And then, there may even come episodes where reality and all its issues may become a downright pleasurable experience.

It is true you can get kicks whether you are disciplined and mature or irresponsible and immature. But I think the mature guy in the end gets more of it in greater quality while the immature will need more but enjoy it less and less. Why? Because he becomes a slave to his pleasures and likes, while the mature get less dependent, less demanding on how life should show up to ease the pain of living and to experience joy.
Mastering oneself is a big part of mastering reality. When you know yourself, you become less and less the issue when you deal with life. Whatever presents itself, you can deal with it.

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