Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes

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Hello, Marceline 1

Posted on March 18, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated March 19, 2017 – 12:00am

Screen Shot 2017-03-19 at 6.44.32 AM
Illustration by Ala Paredes-Buencamino

Lydia and I became grandparents for the second time three weeks ago. My daughter Ala and her husband John gave birth to Marceline, a beautiful, tiny miracle. Thank God, Ala had a very safe delivery. Mother, father and baby are well. John and Ala are still giddy about the whole experience.

This is the second grandchild Lydia and I have been gifted with. The first one is Ananda who was born 12 years ago. Marceline was a little under six pounds at birth. As the days go by, her facial features seem to change. Almost every day, I see in her the faces of different people on my side of the family.

It is wonderful that what started with just Lydia and me has become a family with three children who are now adults. A son-in-law has joined us, and now two granddaughters have made the family bigger. Special moments like weddings and births give us a deep sense of what family is all about and how lucky it is that we were all thrown together to share this life with all its gifts.

When I heard about Marceline’s birth, I burst into Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely? I was euphoric; I could not stop singing the song for three days. Sometimes, family life drags on with very little happening. Although I knew that she would be born soon, the reality of her finally coming into the world is just way beyond wonderful. It gives me the feeling that life does indeed go on, and yes, life is beautiful.

Lydia is in Sydney helping the new parents care for the baby. She sends pictures of herself holding Marceline, feeding and caring for her and I can’t help but be aware of the sweep of time that has transpired and made this all possible.

I often ponder what would have happened if people had not made certain decisions (big or small) in their lives. How would their lives have turned out? What if I had turned down my cousin’s invitation to go with him to a party 41 years ago where I met my wife? What if Ala and John had not met at the time they did? It is funny that before they met, both of them had resolved not to date Filipinos. What sleight of hand of destiny made the attraction they had for each other possible?

Every life, no matter how well planned, is touched by the magic of synchronicity. In the ’70s, this was called serendipity — the coming together of events and people that turns into wonderful outcomes. It is the lucky break — swerte, as we call it — a magical gift. I like to think that it is also, in a deep spiritual sense, God’s plan and abundance playing out.

In the book The Soul’s Code written by Jungian psychologist James Hillman, he writes about how uncanny it is that sometimes, two people meet and have a night of passion, produce an offspring and never see each other again. He speculates, could it be that some divine plan caused two particular people to be in the same place and time to make a human being who is uniquely genetically equipped to perform a particular mission on earth?

It’s quite a thought to ponder.

Every human being born into this world, under whatever circumstance, is a wild card that can define or shape the future. Each person has unique characteristics that will dictate to a great extent his calling in his own life.

When I look at Marceline’s photos, I try to imagine how she will turn out. What will she be like? What will be her personality, her talents? What will her future be? It will take a sweep of time before we find out.

Meanwhile, a big part of my life’s weariness has dissipated. Marceline’s coming into the world has opened up new levels of understanding and appreciation and has challenged me to open myself more to embrace life’s never-ending mysteries.

Sometimes, before I sleep, I whisper a thank you to God for everything. I still have a lot of things to experience at my age. There are still surprise gifts to unwrap.

Yes, I have yet to meet Marceline.

Duterterata 0

Posted on March 10, 2017 by jimparedes

A remake of the beautiful, positive and uplifting Desiderata.

This is the TROLL version!

Go loudly. Always be the noise and haste,
Create disturbing dissonance every time there is silence.
As far as possible without surrender
Be on bad terms with all persons.
ALL OF THEM are yellowtards

Troll incessantly and be as annoying as possible;
Remember, you are among the dull and the ignorant.
That’s why you make fake news and slick lies,
And believe in them!

Avoid bright and intelligent persons.
They are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to them,you may become hopeless and bitter.
So just insult and threaten them with death and rape.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble.
Although trolling is not a real job, it is still money.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals;
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Sorry, skip that.
That last verse was not written for people like you.

Deny all goodness in you.Do not reveal what you look like.
A simple egg on twitter is who you are–dull and ignorant
Be gung ho about spreading negativity and venom.
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
Life to you is like a long Duterte speech laced with much cursing.
You live for it!

Do not take kindly the counsel of the years.
Be contemptuous of anyone who makes sense.
Call them names. They are old and stupid anyway.

Nurture deception to shield you in sudden misfortune.
Strengthen yourself with the force of evil and lies.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Take Fentanyl.
Remember, the President will protect you.

You are the scum of the universe.
Unlike all living things, you have no right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is exorcising,
Vomiting out trolls like you

Therefore be at peace with God ?whatever you conceive him to be,
A mayor from Davao on Fentanyl, a monster with anger issues.
?Remember that whatever your labors and aspirations,
Be reminded that n the noisy confusion and uncertainty of life,
YOU have a salary.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
But you don’t have to accept that.
Insult and threaten everyone
Destroy beauty
Be extra malicious and vile.
Evil is your identity.
Fuck them all.

OBOSEN sila.

Ms. Vivian Velez, meet my Mother 15

Posted on March 05, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated March 5, 2017 – 12:00am

My mother, Ester Misa Paredes Jimenez, who died 20 years ago, has become a celebrity of sorts in social media lately, thanks to Ms. Vivian Velez who sought to malign me by saying that my mother, an anti-martial law activist, “has blood on her hands.”

Since she can no longer speak for herself, I would like to share two articles — testimonials, actually — on my mother and what she did for our freedom. The first is the write-up on her as a proclaimed hero of martial law by the Bantayog ng mga Bayani:

“JIMENEZ, Ester Dolores M. (Posted on October 21, 2015):

“Ester Dolores Misa Paredes Jimenez became involved in the anti-dictatorship struggle through her children, whom she had raised to be independent and to have minds of their own.

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“When her youngest son informed her in 1975 that he was intending to drop out of college in order to go fulltime in the underground, ‘She held my hand and said, “I am very proud of you.” Then she shed some tears. It was the very first time and, I believe, the last time, I saw her cry. It was also the proudest moment of my life. That moment would repeatedly come back to inspire me to move on in spite of the difficulties.

“She opened her home to underground activities, including the production of revolutionary publications, and weekly meetings of activists. Her home became a refuge for wounded revolutionaries or those in hiding. On two occasions, she personally drove a wounded guerrilla to the hospital for treatment.

“Jimenez was a widow who, at age 41, was left to raise and support 10 children by herself. Her first husband was Jess Paredes Jr., a lawyer and broadcaster who died in an airplane crash with President Ramon Magsaysay in 1957.

“When martial law was imposed, her children were grown and she was already in her mid-60s. Still, she became involved in urban guerrilla activities against the regime through the Light-A-Fire Movement, with her second husband Othoniel Jimenez. The members of this group were arrested in December 1979, among them Ester and her husband. After her release in 1981 she continued to visit him and the other detainees in the Bicutan jail to minister to their needs.

“Members of the Light-a-Fire group, including Ester and Othoniel Jimenez, were sentenced to death by a military court in December 1984 but the sentence was never carried out. After the EDSA people power in 1986 and the abolition of the Marcos dictatorship, the Supreme Court nullified their death sentences.

“Ester Jimenez was neither ideologue nor political leader, but she was a steadfast person who simply did what she believed was right. She gave generously of herself without expectation of reward or praise. Many came to call her ‘Mommy’ in recognition of her good heart and selflessness.

“She died in 1997 at the age of 81, after a long illness.”

The second article is by one her lawyers, the renowned Senator Rene Saguisag, who writes about my mother and the context she lived and worked in, in his own inimitable style:

“Light-A-Fire hurt no one, much less killed anyone. In a timid busabos society, I saw in it that not everyone would be like the Good Germans of Hitler’s time. Among its supporters is a prominent respected individual very much around today. Ready to give their all.

“I was privileged to be among the FLAG-MABINI lawyers, led by Tanny (Lorenzo Tanada), Pepe (Jose Diokno) and Joker (Arroyo), who helped the group of patriots. We left when the Kangaroo Court became blatant in its servility to Macoy. Uncompromising Tanny would even give us the silent treatment if we so much as spoke with Ani Desierto, whose classmate, Bing Padilla, was with us, including Jake Misa.

“I continued to monitor the proceedings, unofficially, and was present in Camp Aguinaldo when all the accused were sentenced to death, by musketry. They were ready to go, for the Motherland — ‘worth dying for,’ in their conviction. (Indeed lead accused Ed Olaguer said, when asked to plead, on arraignment, boldly said: ‘Gentlemen of this tribunal, I have taken up arms against this corrupt and illegitimate dictatorship!’)

“EDSA ‘86 led to their liberation. The Supreme Court ruled later that military commissions had no business trying civilians. Heroes all, including Ester Misa Paredes, the late tough mother of Jim and Paulynn, who I met last February 25 in the People Power Monument, where Prez Digong sent a wreath. Conciliatory, correct and proper, which I appreciate. Had he gone there, baka nagka-commotion.

“Prudence he displayed, not shown by the irresponsible provocateurs.

“Had I gone to Luneta, I might have been tolerated or I may not have been able to leave in one piece.

“What unites us should be stronger than what temporarily divides us, as family.

“Bully for Jim! And the Paredeses. His father perished in that plane crash involving President Magsaysay, whom he advised and wrote speeches for. Jess finished AB summa and law at the Ateneo and was No. 2 in the bar exams topped by Dingdong Teehankee.

“Knowing Jim, Paulynn and Ducky (President Cory’s spokesman, and sis Babsy, who I’d see in Camp Aguinaldo during the trial, with Sister Christine Tan) and Ester, I can only say, fruit indeed never really falls far from the tree.

“The trouble-seeking provocateurs had it coming from gutsy Jim. Good.

“‘Di lahat tameme.”

These are times that try men’s souls, and challenge our patience and ability to discern the fake from the real. Ms. Vivian Velez went out of her way to malign my mother. While my mother was living dangerously, making a stand against the Marcos dictatorship, Ms. Velez, known as “Ms. Body Beautiful,” was capitalizing on her ample assets here and abroad.

Her unexpurgated biography is something I’d like to read someday.

Or maybe not!

Classmates are forever 2

Posted on February 25, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated February 26, 2017 – 12:00am

When we first laid eyes on each other around six decades ago in prep at the Ateneo, none of us had any idea how much we would be involved in one another’s lives.

We were innocents with no thought about the future; just kids seated together in the same classroom who would run around the campus during breaks. They were the wonder years. We were so pure.

There were some who joined the class after grade school, others in high school and college. We had fun times. We enjoyed and suffered through the same teachers. We grew up and matured somewhat under the school’s guidance and moral teachings.

And here we are, some 60 years later, still sharing our old stories and jokes, camaraderie and friendship when we meet. We even have a Viber group where classmates who live abroad can join us in discussions and share a joke or two.

More than ever, I am in contact with my schoolmates from the Ateneo de Manila. It is so much fun when we’re together. Each one of us, it seems, has made a life for himself with families, careers, personal trials and proud moments to share. Some have established themselves in a big way. Some have been widowed and remarried. Most of us are grandfathers now. But whatever our status in life, it seems to matter little when we are together. We still call each other by the nicknames we had when we were in school. We’re still bound by the same memories of our teachers, jokes and various incidents when we were young that shaped us into who we are today.

A long time ago, I wrote a song for my class called Saan na nga Bang Barkada, which has become a kind of anthem for many graduating classes when they get together in reunions. In that song, I was not idealizing when I wrote,

Napakahirap malimutan

Ang saya ng aming samahan

Kahit lumipas na ang iilang taon,

Makabarkada pa rin ngayon.

Magkaibigan magkaibigan

Magkabarkada pa rin ngayon.

How can one forget the happiest moments of one’s youth and childhood?

Dr. Tony Dans, an Atenean and a distinguished heart doctor, was right when he said, during a commencement speech at the ADMU, that your high school classmates are people you will be with for the rest of your life. You will stay in their homes when you travel. You will go to them when you need doctors, lawyers, priests, brokers, accountants, etc. You will spend a lot of time with them playing sports, going on retreats, vacations, and a host of other things. In a way, one might say, classmates are forever.

My brother Jesse, who is turning 80 in September, recounts that a waiter in Club Filipino approached him and asked why he and his classmates had stopped going to the club for meetings. My brother said that they still get together often except that the venue has changed. When the waiter asked where they now meet, my brother, who never stops joking, answered, “We often get together in funeral parlors.” As morbidly funny as it sounds, he was actually serious.

As we get older, we tend to revisit chunks of our lives and re-live them in order to get our personal lives more integrated. We weave happy and sad memories into some mental and emotional tapestry to understand what our lives mean.

Some classmates, even if some 60 years have passed, I still remember as children. I never got to know them as adults since they passed on early. I can only imagine what they would have been like if they had lived longer.

People come and go in our lives. We stand by others as witnesses to their lives when they die. We bid them farewell. We reminisce and remember them forever with a fondness for the short but happy times shared. I guess, in some way, we want to spend time with those who we have shared the same timeline, those who will remember us when we go.

Aside from family, friends and lovers, there are our classmates. There is little time left and we want to savor it with people who will be our witnesses as we pass into the next life.

Life is short and fleeting. As children, we never thought about getting old. Aging happened to our parents, but it was not going to happen to us, or so we thought. But here we are! Sixty-fivers. Thank God, we are still very much alive!

Looking forward to the next get-together with you guys.

We do not have to spend our last years just reminiscing. The past is only a place to visit. Let us enjoy each day as a blessing to welcome the new things that still show up in our lives.

It’s great to be alive and sharing ever-new moments with old classmates.

Gaining back my equilibrium 0

Posted on February 19, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated February 19, 2017 – 12:00am

A few days ago, I saw a post from a book on Facebook that read, “To the enlightened mind, what is and what should be are one and the same.” This spoke to me in a deep way.

I was going to copy and paste and share it on social media until I realized that it was a quote from a book I had actually written years ago.

I was stunned. I read it again. It occurred to me in a painful way that I am now nowhere near that frame of mind I used to be in. The realization shook me.

I remember how I was when I wrote my first book. I was calm, quite settled with myself, and my Zen meditation practice was solid. I would wake up in a heightened state of awareness and aliveness. The wisdom of the world opened up to me. And I understood it in a heartfelt way. My heart was open like a lotus.
At that time, I would sit on my meditation pillows on my mat almost every day. It was a habit. I felt like a mountain. I felt solid! I was the direction, the way people look at mountains. I was not the one seeking it. I was constant, sure as a guiding star to myself in my own life’s travel.

These days, I am not as calm as I ought to be. I get easily confused, angry and agitated. Social media and the pressures of life push and pull me in all directions, disturbing my peace. Trolls, the political situation, personal problems, the vicissitudes of life drive me up the wall. I lose my center and my clarity so easily and feel that my life is being lived, led and rearranged according to an agenda not of my doing or planning. I find myself living in other people’s worlds, whereas I used to feel that I lived in a world I had fashioned myself.

One of the things I learned in Zen meditation is the ability to simply observe things without getting caught up in them, or being attached emotionally, intellectually, or in any other manner. I could watch my thoughts come and go and suspend my opinions and biases about them. They were simply clouds passing by. They didn’t stay. Everything was transient.
Not having an opinion, or preferences, or any emotional interest or bond with personal issues and how the world should be could be very liberating. It was like being the eternal blue sky above the changing weather below.

With enough meditation practice, I could look at myself in the third person and watch myself the way I would observe other phenomena or events as they arise and leave. I had discovered what meditators call the “witness” — one who can look at the world and oneself without interest or ego, and just watch.
It is like looking at the world fresh and new with no cynicism or prior judgment. Everything is there but without labels. There is that freedom to experience things as though for the very first time.

I once asked my teacher what would happen if I stopped meditating. She said that everything I had learned or experienced while in such a state would become a memory and eventually become meaningless.

I started meditating again when the new year began. I am slowly gaining back some of what I thought I had lost. I am slowly learning again to not always comment or engage in arguments on social media. I am learning to turn away and not engage. In the process, I am going back to the direction of wholeness and balance. I am gaining back my equilibrium.
Zen is pure unadulterated awareness. The Zen mind is without artifice. It sees purely. And strangely enough, a natural compassion can arise from one’s own depths. How can it not when judgment is set aside?

As I observe myself these days, I feel a kindness slowly taking over. Whatever I am right now, with all my mess and shortcomings, I know I am in the state of the art of who I am. I am in the here and now. Everyone always is. We are always doing our best at the present moment, considering everything. Only hindsight can point out if we are doing better or worse compared to any other point in our lives. But at this moment, we are simply unfolding as best we can.

We simply “are who we are,” right now. And maybe be that’s how we ought to be.

Great songwriting takes practice — and accidents 0

Posted on February 11, 2017 by jimparedes

Great songwriting takes practice — and accidents
HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated February 12, 2017 – 12:00am

I am teaching songwriting this semester at the Ateneo de Manila University’s Communications Department, for the second year in a row.

I require certain conditions of the students who wish to join my class. I require that enrollees play at least one instrument. I also want a small class of no more than 15 students, although this semester, I ended up with 18. I gave way after I read the emails of some applicants who missed the deadline. I sensed that they really wanted to be in the class.

My approach to this subject is very hands-on. I ask the students to bring their guitars. There is a keyboard available in the classroom. I require them to write at least one song a week. It is quite a challenge but I really feel that you can’t learn songwriting without writing as many songs as you can. Writing continuously makes one write better. While there are theories and structures to learn, songwriting is not a subject that involves much intellectual pursuit.

One’s approach to songwriting is usually 90 percent intuitive and 10 percent intellectual. The only way to learn is to have an intimate knowledge, a passion and a feel, for music. And one must play it. If you approach this as a regular subject, you will not learn much. You must “love” it and feel it. Only then will you learn.

Of course, I teach chords and their relationships to one another. I also show how and why certain songs are great and some are not. I give them formulas to follow and play with. This gives the lessons some kind of structure. I always tell them that they must master the rules and only when they know them well can they break them like artists do.

I encourage my students to pay attention to one or two songwriters they like and to emulate them. Learn and play every song they have ever recorded. Know their style. Copy if you wish. And when you think you’ve learned a lot from them, can you explore on their own.

I encourage them to listen to the Beatles, who were the biggest influence in my songwriting. They taught me how to write simply and to be bold in my approach. I have a few students who love the Beatles, but sadly, the majority of kids today do not know their music.

In every class, I pass on practical tips that the students can adapt immediately. When I was learning to play the guitar, I would watch anyone who played it live or on TV. I paid attention to chords, beats, lyrics, genres, styles, etc.

As a young man, music was my life. The guitar saw me through teenage angst, heartaches, shyness, insecurity — all the feelings trapped inside me that were blocked by my inarticulateness. Music was a parallel language that I used to express myself. What I could not articulate, I could sing out loud. The melodies and lyrics were like conversations, while the chords were the context.

I learned music on my own. I never went to music school. I do not know how to read notes, but I know my chords, bars, measures. I can work with professional musicians and talk about flats, sharps, etc. I can follow music charts. I learned everything from experience and by being intensely interested. I try to pass on to my students this wonder and fascination I have for music and how to write their own songs.

I believe that their interest, if it is keen enough, will teach them what they need to know. My job as teacher is to guide and encourage them, accelerate the speed of knowledge, and nurture their passion.

In my last class, I taught my students a series of chords to increase their songwriting vocabulary. I could hear them sigh when they heard certain progressions I played. I remember being a young man rushing home because I had a song in my head and I wanted to play it on guitar for affirmation. It was such a great feeling.

I try to approach each student individually since they are not all starting from the same place. Some are newbies at guitar while a few have been at it for years. Some have written a few songs; others are literally just starting. I expect the more skilled ones to pull up the rest of the class.

I tell my students that they will write a lot of bad songs before they write a good one. At this point, quantity is more important than quality. A good song is almost always accidentally made. In my years of songwriting, I know that to be true. I have had many hits and most of them, I can honestly say, were accidental. If I knew the formula for writing hits, then every song I have written should have become hits.

And so I encourage quantity and prolific output. This also applies to every kind of artistic pursuit. The more you do, the better you get at your craft. And the better you get, the more chances for that happy accident to happen.

In the end, the aim is to become “accident-prone” and coming up with consistently excellent work.

I still believe 0

Posted on February 05, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated February 5, 2017 – 12:00am

Every once in a while, we hear of a taxi driver who returns money or luggage left by a passenger and we feel good about it. And well we should. The newspapers and television make a story of it and we are delighted, pleased and inspired to know that, in this evil world, there are people who choose to do the right thing.

I do not know whether the majority of the people in the world are good or bad but it is safe to assume that there are good and bad people everywhere. I have changed my opinion about mankind quite often, but mostly I tend to believe that there are more people who are decent, conscientious, helpful and honest than we give mankind credit for.

I have been lost in foreign cities and I have been helped by strangers who went out of their way to put me on the right train, taxi or bus to get back to my hotel. A lady in Japan brought me to the right platform which was several floors up in a train station in Tokyo, waited for seven minutes to make sure I got on the right train, and reminded me in broken English to get off at the fourth stop. I can still picture her waving goodbye as the train left.

Here are more examples of innate goodness I have experienced.

Some years back, Lydia and I were in Rajasthan in India. Lydia went to a store looking for cheap earrings. When she found a pair, she took off the diamonds she was wearing and put on the ones she liked. She paid for it, and left the store. Some time later, she remembered that she had left her diamond earrings on the counter. We called the store, and the saleslady confirmed that the earrings were there. She said her son would meet us in Delhi in two days to give it to us. She said it was better to hand it to us personally since the postal system was unreliable and corrupt and the diamonds could get stolen.

But the next day, her son had a change of plans and said he could not deliver the diamond earrings. Lydia told the saleslady to just keep the earrings. Maybe someday, we would be back in India and we could pick it up.

We left it at that.

The following year, a friend of ours visited Rajasthan and went to the same store. She talked to a woman there and mentioned a pair of diamond earrings left by a Filipina a year ago. The woman smiled, and after asking a few questions, gave Lydia’s earrings to our friend. Lydia got them back!

I find this quite inspiring. It speaks well of Indians and the way they treat strangers.

Here’s another.

My son Mio left his wallet on a bus in Sydney during his first day of school there over 10 years ago. When he got home, he was distressed and upset about losing it. I told him to call the bus company to inquire if they saw it. He was pessimistic. He was sure the wallet was gone. But when he finally called, lo and behold, it was there at the bus depot. A passenger had seen it, picked it up and gave it to the bus driver who submitted it as lost property.Another time, my daughter Erica left her bag at a food court in a mall in Sydney. It had her passport and hundreds of US dollars. It was some four hours later when she realized she didn’t have her bag and she went back to the food court in a desperate rush. She saw the cleaning woman and asked if she had seen the bag she left behind. The woman asked my daughter what color her bag was. When she said it was brown, the woman went to the cleaning room and gave Erica her missing bag.

Lydia also once lost her wallet with lots of cash and credit cards but found it intact at the lost and found department of a shopping center.Here in the Philippines, Erica left her Mac laptop in a cab. To her surprise, the Uber driver called to tell her she forgot her laptop. He drove over to where he dropped her off, and returned her gear promptly. Erica offered a reward but the driver would have none of it. He said it was company policy to return items left in Uber cars.

Stories like these buoy up my spirits, and restore my hope and trust in mankind.

Have you ever had the opportunity to save the situation for another person? Once there was a big flood that engulfed a depressed area occupied by undocumented settlers near our neighborhood. In the confusion that ensued as the floodwaters rose, a child was found wandering alone. Someone brought her to our house for safekeeping. We had no idea who she was. We took her in, fed her, gave her dry clothes, and made her comfortable. Several hours later, her mother came to pick her up. When she saw her daughter, her face broke into a wonderful smile of relief.

During Ondoy, we took in 14 strangers who needed a place to be dry and safe. They stayed for two nights. I was glad we had the resources to do it. Giving and sharing are acts of kindness that the world should have more of.While evil does exist in the world, and this may inhibit many of us from doing right, I still believe there are more people who give us reason to trust each other.

Lesson learned from two beauty queens 0

Posted on January 30, 2017 by jimparedes

We heard from Pia Wurztback and Ms France who won Ms Universe today. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

I wrote a song about this in my new album. Sharing! Pls share too.

Conversations with God 0

Posted on January 22, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated January 22, 2017 – 12:00am

A few days ago, Lydia and I were walking around our neighborhood as part of our exercise when we met an old friend who was walking on her way to our parish church. After the usual greetings, she told us she was going to join other people in praying the rosary at the church. This was her daily routine, she said. When we asked her what she was praying for, she looked at us seriously and said she was praying for the state of the world, which needs a lot of fixing. I can understand that, I told myself. We talked some more until she bid us goodbye.

I remembered my mother who was quite a prayerful woman. At the height of the Cold War, she prayed for the collapse of communism, the godless evil of her generation. My siblings and I would roll our eyes when she included the conversion of Russia as a special intention during our nightly rosary.

It just seemed so impossible then. The USSR was a strong, mighty fortress that dominated a big part of the world and geopolitics. It had a military that was ready to fight the most powerful nation in the world, the USA.

There was a certain child-like quality in the way Mom practiced her religion that I used to scoff at, kind of. Maybe it was a generational thing. I thought she was too dependent on faith, whatever faith was. I was a haughty young man. But on the day the Berlin Wall fell, I felt humbled that my mother’s seemingly useless and unrealistic attempts at reshaping the world had become real and had manifested.

Since then, I began to take prayers seriously, especially the prayers of the elderly. They certainly know more about this than I do. Their faith is strong and they never give up. Thank you, Mom, for this valuable lesson. I have learned that to engage in prayer involves the summoning of very strong forces to change how things are.

As I have gotten older, I notice I am turning more and more to prayer. I don’t know if this is a natural tendency as people age. I just know that I do and with good reason: I have prayed many times and my intentions have been granted many times.

I do not care to analyze the science, or the absence of it, behind prayers. I just know that it is a powerful force that does good for the one who prays and the intended beneficiary.

I also look at prayer as something that refines me in some ways. It clears my mind as I focus on my true intentions. I get to know my own fine print.

Sometimes, I pray for something specific to happen until I realize that what I really want is for everything to just be all right. And that means that what I specifically pray for to make things all right does not have to tie God’s hands to the “how” it must happen. I have to surrender to the ways of the Higher Power. Maybe I am actually praying to God to make me accept whatever happens. Maybe that’s what it means for everything to be “all right.”

The other Sunday, I saw a woman in her 30s and her father enter the church and walk to their pew. I noticed that she walked very slowly, assisted by her father. Her right hand was clutched in a fist and placed close to her stomach and her movements were very slow. Her strength was coming from the left side of her body, which was dragging the right side. She must have suffered a stroke at her young age.

All throughout the Mass, I kept looking toward her, checking to see if she was all right. I prayed for her. After Mass, I told Lydia and my granddaughter Ananda that I had this urge to go and talk to her. I went up to her and struck up a conversation.

I simply expressed to her the empathy I felt at that moment. I told her and her dad that I wanted to pray that she be healed. I apologized for intruding too much by expressing myself in a straightforward manner. She was crying but I could feel her joy seeing that a stranger cared about her condition. I promised to pray often that she recovers completely.

I have observed that one characteristic of the prayerful is humility. I am still learning that. One must accept that we have very little control over things. This is where my prayers of gratitude originate. I often pray not to ask for anything but only express joy and gratitude for just being alive and being where I am right now. I give thanks for the person I have become and living in the time and place that I am in, surrounded by people I love and who love me.

I also do Zen meditation, which is a form of prayer. Zen is a letting go of concerns, a distancing from the world and one’s ego to meet the bigger Self that embraces and includes all sentient beings. A few days ago, I imagined during meditation that God was actively healing the woman I met in church. I also often imagine spreading love to friends, loved ones and even strangers.

Many times in the day, I find that I am talking to myself. When I notice this, I consciously decide and make my inner dialogue a conversation with God, or what others may want to think as their higher selves. You may want to ask: Am I really talking to God? Often, I think I am. Do I get answers? Yes. One answer He gave was that He would heal that woman. I believe that.

Sometimes, I ask if I am just talking with myself. It’s a real possibility.

And then I hear God say, Does it matter?

The dictator called life 0

Posted on January 14, 2017 by jimparedes

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated January 15, 2017

Life is a dictator. It is cruel, impersonal, and does not care for anyone. You must live by its rules. There are immutable laws that one must comply with if we must live a life. You must obey them, or suffer more than you should.

First and foremost, there is gravity that we must immediately recognize. In the early parts of life, it seems like we can accommodate it easily. Sure, you trip, you fall when you are learning to deal with it. You can break your bones, too. As a young person with a flexible, strong body, you can jump, dance, run and play with it, and it may even seem like you can defy it. But as you get older, gravity gets stronger as your body gets progressively weaker until your relationship with gravity is pure subservience to it. You can’t jump as high, you tire easily, and the chores you do daily become generally more difficult.

Like a dictator, life insists on its own rules. All we can do is comply. Sometimes we think we can defy the rules, but we wake up and realize we are just fooling ourselves.

Here are some of the life rules that may take us forever to learn, yet we must.

1) You can’t deny life. It is alive and “on” every moment, whether you notice it or not. You may take mood-altering substances to make it seem like it does not exist. You may consciously ignore life’s demands and imperatives. But reality will always rear its ugly head and, sooner or later, you will have to deal with it.

2) Everything has consequences, whether you act on them or not.

3) Whether or not you see yourself as a good person, you will hurt someone.

4) The person you love the most will be the person you will probably hurt the most.

5) Life will pull you every which way and this will bring you great pleasure, pain, confusion, fear, love. Whatever happens, you must strive for balance at all times. This is paramount.

6) You will age. Your body will surrender. You will die. That’s for sure.

7) The weather will affect not just your moods but also your health and disposition. Global warming will be a big factor in choosing where and how you will live.

8) You will have to meet, face, deal with and accept yourself whoever, whatever and however you are, if you wish to have peace and happiness. This may take quite a while to achieve. But you must do it.

9) The earlier you realize the you are not entitled to anything, and accept this dictatorial edict of life, the sooner you will be happy and peaceful.

10) You are a unique being living in a particular time and space. You cannot live the life of another human being, no matter how much you try. You are forced to be you. You alone must decide and define who you are and what your purpose is in this world.

11) No matter how physically beautiful you are, or how together you seem to be, or how highly you regard yourself, there is an ugly side to you that you must come to terms with.

12) You will affect people and people will affect you, for better or for worse.

13) If you don’t show up for your own life, no one will. The more you show up, the better your chances are at living it.

14) Life is not always fair. You deal with what is put on your plate.

15) The only way to free yourself from misery is to accept the ugly, miserable dictatorship of life. Only then does it become bearable and beautiful.

16) But all is not gloomy. Lastly, despite the dictatorship, happiness, peace, love, fulfillment and meaning can be achieved.

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