Writing on Air

Writing on Air by Jim Paredes


Archive for July 3rd, 2007


For her and him.. 12

Posted on July 03, 2007 by jimparedes

While many people in America are currently entertaining themselves with their newly purchased iphones, I am tripping on two products I came across recently. I have not used them and probably never will (as you will see later), but I am amused that they are part of this universe we live in.

I was not looking for them but somehow, they found their way into my presence and consciousness and I guess that’s a pretty good sign that they should be blog material.

One product was shown to me by my sister-in-law Vangie Mabanta. It is called Anion. It is panty liner and comes in a box and it is manufactured in China. There’s nothing unusual about that since everything seems to be coming from China these days, until we read the directions for use printed on the package. I am quoting verbatim.

“Functions:
1. Inside the cunt, anion can promote the exchange of biological enzyme;
2. In sanitary napkin, the anion chip can instantly absorb blood.”

Apparently, the Chinese-to-English translator must have learned his English lessons by watching porno. Ha ha.

Here’s more:

*** it comes with “lady vagina inflammation self-test paper”. Whut…?

I am guessing that they wanted to be clear that it does not come with ‘men’s vagina’ inflammation self-test paper, just in case we were looking for that.

The other product is something Lydia discovered somewhere and gave it as a gag gift to my brother-in-law Peter Gonzales who celebrated his 50th birthday last week. I also brought one to Sydney for Mio who had a good laugh. I assure you, it was not given to them because they need it.

The product is called “PENI FRESH”. It is an “Antiseptic Male Organ Wash Soap”. On the label, it says,

“Male Hygenic HERBAL Soap that keeps your private part clean and free from unpleasant odor due to bacteria. Clinically proven to be safe, mild and gentle. Use morning and night or as needed for best great feeling. TUTTI-FRUTTI FLAVOR.

It’s a product from Sweden but manufactured by ORO Laboratories in Quezon City.

I thought I had seem everything.

Meanwhile, my iphone can wait while I relish this amusement.

* * *

PS. If you posted comments a few days ago and did not see it, it’s my fault. Someone anonymous posted some 25 pages of nonsense which prompted me to moderate comments. I forgot to change back the settings.

Anyway, you can now comment as usual and you will see your comment promptly. I still reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or malicious.

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