HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) Updated May 08, 2011

I got a message on Facebook from an old friend, Mae Dolonius, APO’s producer in Switzerland years ago. She wrote to ask me to do something really unique.

Mae, 39, and her husband Connie Dolonius, 62, have been married for 10 years. They renewed their vows two years ago on a Swiss mountain for their close European friends. Mae and Connie wanted to do the same thing in Manila where they have lots of friends and family who were not able to attend their wedding years back. She wrote to me to ask if I could be part of their renewal by leading the ceremony. I read the e-mail with a big “huh?” in my head and with much amusement and excitement.

Over dinner a week later, we discussed the project. It was not an official wedding they wanted me to “officiate,” since they were already married. Besides, they knew that I have no authority to make any marital union official. And also, all laws and their religious requirements had already been complied with when their union was solemnized eight years back.

What they wanted was an event that would celebrate their marriage before family and friends in the Philippines without the traditional church rites. But yes, they wanted a ceremony of love that was different, non-sectarian, non-traditional and yet had a sacredness and a spirituality about it. They wanted to have one before nature with the Universe as witness to their promise of lifetime love.

Their excitement rubbed off on me immediately. I told them I would make up some kind of ceremony that would express the theme of their union with nature and cosmic convergence.

A few weeks later, we came up with the flow of the event and the invocations to be used. And on that late afternoon last April 25, with their friends and family, we gathered together at Balai Isabel in Talisay, Batangas, near Taal lake. Connie and Mae, resplendent in white suit and long gown, arrived at the ceremony via banca while a song I wrote, Mangarap at Managinip, played on the speakers.

With Connie and Mae’s permission, I am sharing with you the “rites” that made their tenth wedding anniversary different and special. As the “officiator,” these were the invocations I read:

We the friends of Connie and Mae gather here today to participate in a ceremony of love, bonding and commitment before the Universe.

We also invoke as witnesses and as participants the elements of rock, sand, foliage, wind, fire, the stars, planets, earth and the entire Universe.

We now call on the four winds to be present.

(All face the directions of North, East, West and South together. The four maids of honors burn incense in each direction. Connie’s four daughters with Mae’s four nieces hold a chime each and ring them on each direction.)

In the name of everything that is beautiful, life-sustaining, and life-renewing, we now proceed with the ceremony.

Connie and Mae, two travelers in this lifetime who have committed their love and lives to each other, are here today to renew their vows and seek the blessing of friends, nature and the Universe itself.

We therefore invoke not just the presence and attention of all who are here today, but your participation and love as friends and relatives. You may now shower the couple with applause and appreciation.

(The participants clap and whistle and shower petals on the couple as they approach the altar.)

Let us proceed with the ceremony. May we now call on the bearers of the rocks.

(A couple brings rocks to the altar which they give to Mae and Connie. After receiving the rocks, they exchange them with each other and put them in a big bowl on the table.)

May these rocks signify the strength and solidness of the love that Connie and Mae have for each other. May their love, like these rocks, withstand the test of time and be earthly reminders of eternal love.

May we now call on the bearers of the sand.

(A couple brings sand which they pour on the praying hands of Connie and Mae.)

May these grains of sand fill the hard to reach corners of love so that Mae and Connie may experience a fullness of love always. This symbolizes the give and take, the flexibility of a loving relationship.

May we now call on the bearers of water.

(A couple brings in two pitchers of water that they pour on the hands of Connie and Mae.)

May the water purify their love and intentions for each other always. May their love be as strong as the unbreakable bond between hydrogen and oxygen in every drop of water from these vessels.

May we call on the bearers of the plants.

(A couple brings two saplings to Connie and Mae.)

May Connie and Mae’s love grow, generate and reproduce not just offspring but also healing wonders like these plants which they may generously share with everyone they meet. May their love be like nature’s gifts to all of us — abundant, fresh and ever-growing.

May we now call on the bearers of fire.

(A couple brings in two torches and places them beside the couple.)

May their passion for each other be as hot, enduring and transformative as the fire we see here. Fire is the element that transforms the hardest of surfaces. May they always have the fire that will transform anything that stands in the way to greater love and shape it to a love that nurtures and heals.

(At this point, the couple exchange rings.)

These earthen metals were shaped by the heat of fire into symbols of eternity, which Mae and Connie now give to each other.

(Crystals are brought in by the children.)

We call on the moon, the stars and planets above to witness and bless Mae and Connie on this very special moment in their lifetime. May their love endure and be celebrated by friends and relatives just as we celebrate the beauty and wonder of all of life.

(Connie and Mae kiss.)

This union sealed before friends, relatives, the Universe and All That Is, is now made solemn by Connie and Mae’s love.

The brief ceremony ended with the lighting of airborne lanterns from Bangkok that were released by the couple and their guests. A banquet with singing, music and dancing soon followed.

For me, one of the highlights of the event was when the couple exchanged their expressions of love and vows to each other during the reception. Connie said one thing that I thought was quite important. After he pointed out how much he loved Mae, he said he felt that the renewal of marriage vows should not happen 20 or 25 years later. Given that life is short, and how quickly it can end, expressions of love should not be held back and should be encouraged. He also said that with the way life is changing so fast, expressions of love must also be diverse and creative.

That night, I drove back to Manila with a smile on my face and joy in my heart at having been witness and participant to Connie and Mae’s renewal of vows. When people, as a sign of their commitment, swear their undying love as often as this before God, relatives, loved ones, friends, and the Universe itself, one cannot help but believe that some things may, indeed, be cut out for eternity.

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Now, finally in Alabang! Basic Photography on May 18, Songwriting on May 27. Call 850-3568 to 70 or 0917-8080627. Venue is at Pixie Forest Amusement Center, Level 3 Festival Supermall, Filinvest Corporate City, Alabang. Call for reservations.

2) Creative for Life Workshop in QC on May 14. Basic Photography in QC on June 4. Call Olie at 0916-8554303 or 426-5375 for all workshop inquiries. Or write me at emailjimp@gmail.com. Check jimparedes-workshops.com for details on all workshops.