Kehlog Albran, a spoof of Kahlil Gibran, was the craziest Philosopher I read in College. He had a book called The Profit. Here’s an excerpt.
A priest asked,
What is Fate, Master?
And he answered:
It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.
It is that which has caused nations to build by-ways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.
It is that which has caused great fleets of ships to ply the Seven Seas wherever the wind blows.
And that is Fate? said the priest.
Fate… I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.
That’s all right, said the priest. I wanted to know what Freight was too.