Thoughts about my diminishing future

sunset

A new year is viewed differently by the old and young. For the young, it is another 365 days of passing time in unlimited ways. One can live it aimlessly, carelessly, and in a care-free manner. And if the year does not turn out to be great, well, there are many more years to come.

To the older generation, a new year means less and less of the future remaining. There is a greater urgency to seize the moment. And while the road may not be an endless one, the path is definitely clearer and gets more so every year. It ids a call to engagement.

In many ways, one may say life becomes simpler. My human body, though it still can do much of what I want it to do must already rule out many things such as climbing Everest, playing football, doing 20 chin ups, staying out late as often as I used to when I was in my 30s to 50s, etc.. My dexterity in defying gravity has severely lessened. I must be more careful. I also must watch out and now regulate my intake of sugar, salt, caffeine, and other foods. It is 2022. Omicron is again severely limiting our movements and activities, our choices and opportunities to socialise with friends and relatives. Traveling, continues to be iffy. I feel again like I am left with so few choices. But it does not mean I put an end to pursuits and stop living.

But even when possibilities may seem limited, there are things I can bank on. Thank God, I can still do music, exercise at home, take solitary walks, write, sing, and be with members of my family who are in Sydney even if I can’t go to Paris, France to visit my daughter and grandchild whom I have not seen for almost 3 years now.

But like I mentioned earlier, I can write music. And I know I am talented enough to write good music. I CAN and I will.

There is also my penchant for causes. It is also election time in 5 months. I have been trying to reach outside of my echo chamber to engage people I do not know and try to convince them to vote for LENI and Kiko and their chosen senators. The future of the nation depends on the outcome of this election. It is time to seize the moment and put an end to the leaders and dynasties that have been stealing our nation blind. I find doing such things meaningful.

When there is not much time left, one can focus deeply and direct energies to what needs to be done. It is easier to do when you know the clock is ticking. No more dilly-dallying, creating useless drama, waiting for the ‘right’ time. In many ways, the new mantra has become ‘NOW OR NEVER”.

I used to like the Dylan Thomas quote which goes, ‘Do not go quietly into the night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’ But this ageing man now just wants to keep doing the things he likes, and pursuing causes he believes in. Instead of regretting and being angry while living the rest of what’s left of a diminishing future, I would instead like to leave everyone with a life lived fully that will be remembered not because it ended but because it built up into a fantastic sunset.

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