Humming In MY Universe
Philippine Star February 19, 2007
By Jim Paredes
Some people like to share quotes from the Bible. I like to share quotes and stories from other non-traditional sources, such as religious texts from other sects, or just quotes from other, non-religious people to share.
Once in a while, I spot a quote that really strikes me like lightning and I find myself in an aha! situation that can be so affirming. It’s like the divine dove of understanding has perched on my head. And at that moment, there is a clarity about the world and myself.
I like passages that deal with the harder issues of life, like this one about loving our enemies. For sure, all of us have had a few people we secretly wish ill will on. This one cuts beautifully.
‘Another way that you love your enemy is this:
When the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy,
that is the time which you must not do it.
There will come a time, in many instances,
when the person who hates you most,
the person who has misused you most,
the person who has gossiped about you most,
the person who has spread false rumors about you most,
there will come a time when
you will have an opportunity to defeat that person.
It might be in terms of a recommendation for a job;
it might be in terms of helping that person
to make some move in life.
That’s the time you must do it.
That is the meaning of love.
In the final analysis,
love is not this sentimental something that we talk about.
It’s not merely an emotional something.
Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men.
It is the refusal to defeat any individual.
When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power,
you seek only to defeat evil systems.
Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love,
but you seek to defeat the system.”
— Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Talk about magnanimity. A heart so big that it can set aside the need for revenge and accommodate new possibilities of relating, is truly powerful. I am not sure whether such an opportunity where we find ourselves having the upper hand with regard to our enemies will always present itself. But if it ever does happen, it’s good to remember Martin Luther King’s thoughts and put proper closure and finality to karmic discord.
Here’s another:
‘Forgiveness doesn’t look attractive until we get to the other side.’
This is so true.
Depending on how deeply we perceive our personal hurts, it is difficult to even consider the thought of forgiving people who have caused us great pain. The very notion rubs salt on our wounds so that our rejection of forgiveness would seem justified — until we tire of feeling like victims and decide to free ourselves from this disempowered mode. But even when we do, for sure, it’s a scary step into what seems like a very dark direction that goes against everything that we feel. But people who have done exactly this have found that it is the only way to go.
This morning, someone sent me an article about Judea Pearl, the father of Daniel Pearl, the journalist who was kidnapped and beheaded by Pakistani extremists. In memory of his son, Judea Pearl has decided to devote his life to bridging Jews and Muslims in peaceful acceptance and understanding. The first thing he did was to look for a Muslim counterpart who would share his vision so he could reach the Muslim audience as well. He found it in the person of Akbar Ahmed, a teacher. They now work together to foster communication and understanding in some communities among two peoples’ who have had an endless history of enmity towards each other.
Something as traumatic as losing a son the way Judea Pearl did could destroy most men. While Judea Pearl admits that time takes too long to heal his wounds, he says that he wanted to honor of his son who did not have a single mean bone in his body, and whom he loved with every fiber of his being.
It is a tribute to Daniel’s ‘gentle, golden spirit,’ he says. I quote: ‘You see, our son was born with an awful affliction – a belief in the goodness of humanity, and a total absence of malice.’
To wait any longer until the pain of losing Daniel has eased would be to dishonor what his son was all about.
What Judea Pearl is doing is nothing short of heroic and revolutionary. Instead of succumbing to hatred he has chosen to create new possibilities for the future of mankind. He is pulling up humanity to a higher evolutionary stage beyond the ‘eye for an eye’ mindset. He is choosing to love instead of the time-honored but deadly response of hatred and revenge to deal with his loss.
Another quote I find quite illuminating has to do with confusion itself. It is from Vaclav Havel, the poet and playwright who is a former President of Romania. He says:
‘Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.’
I love this! It’s so full of faith that clarity will always dawn upon us no matter what happens or how confusing things seem to be!
This is a good mantra to repeat at this time when we are pondering the inexplicable behavior of the political players in our country, or our seeming inability to ever rise from the mire we’re in, or when we witness unbelievable cruelty or suffering everywhere. I think of Havel’s faith as I watch how a country like Iraq is utterly destroyed by a thoughtless, mad leader of an otherwise great nation.
Lastly, I’d like to end with a story about purity of intentions, albeit explained in a most unusual way.
The story as told by Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite writers, is that of a Samurai warrior who was tasked to look for someone and kill him. After many months, he finally found himself face to face with the enemy, and after a fierce fight, he had him cornered. But right before he was about to kill the man, his prey spat at him. This angered the Samurai warrior so much, that he had no choice but to walk away and let the man go. Why? Because he would not have been true to the Samurai code if he had done his job out of anger and without equanimity and purity of intention and purpose.
Can you think of a more dramatic story of honor and dignity?
##
Again I am brought to reflect. Wanted to share what’s in my head at the moment:
Forgiveness merits mention to be a bright area of psychological research. It is amazing that forgiveness exists in many cultures and religions, an indicator of its significance in peoples’ [sic] well-being in so many ways.
The difficulty of forgiving a person who has wronged you, I think, can be attributed to man’s sense of ‘overpowering’ his fellow man. To be caught in a situation where one has an upper hand can be intoxicating. This false sense of superiority I think is confused with “prinsipyo” o “pagmamatigas”, as some see “pagpapatawad” as a mark of weakness. I am not proud of what I am saying now, that at one time I had felt this way, and refused to open myself to dialogue. When I look back now, I regret every moment I wasted not to have let go of my emotions faster. Time does aid in healing, but like most wounds, we are left to remember our clumsiness by the scars.
“When we perceive that we have an immortal soul, it is impossible to fight over things” — Verba Seniorum
I’ve been sharing a few Bible quoutes with some of my online friends. They were the ones who talked me out of suicide.
I often thought of suicide and leave this place. but I wasn’t successful at it, something pulled me back. I often think about it now, but I’m not thinking of doing it again.
BTW, I was comletely flabbergasted when I saw you in MMK. I was looking forward to that episode for weeks.
Thank you po for the book assistance! =)
—-
About Hope…
ahh.. so even if a person hopes for better, he/she must not abandon the thought of worst things could stil happen, despite of hoping for better?
Pero.. sinong tao po ang mag ho-hope ng WORST? everybody hopes for the best di po ba?
Or perhaps im confused with the words Hoping and Expecting. There’s a big difference from the two words. Yet, we, or some of us, makes these words as if they’re synonyms or identical in meaning.
—-
About Honor…
I guess some people these days knows what “honor” means only IF they’re in a sect or group or discipline like samurai.
I honor my family. I honor my relationship with God and friends.
I honor myself. Yet I guess I need to know how to honor my enemies as well.. =)
“Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them.” – Richard Nixon
‘Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.’
this one’s just beautiful.
“Hope always awaits you. On the sunlit hilltops above the valley of doubt, and girls sometimes doubt; in a corner in your heart when the tempter comes; in your conversation when evil words creep in, I am always there. I will never sleep I will never die. I will stand with your mother at your awakening in the morning and pray with her while you sleep at night.” – Sister of Hope 1948
pen–I loved your Verba Seniorum quote.
triccia–The goodness in you pulled you back. MMK was fun.
Greenmangoes–honor is being true to oneself, and one’s ideals.
anne–nice quotes
Hi Sir Jim,
On a personal note I could relate to Vaclav Havel’s thought about Hope. Many times things turnout differently from what we expected and hoped it to be. I truly believe that whatever inconveniences we’re in, God has a very good purpose why he wants us to experience those humps. It is just part of His bigger plan for us.
Thank you Sir Jim for these worth-reading articles, it helps a lot especially that I’m working offshore on this far-off, lonely island.
Louie, Turks & Caicos Islands
louie–You are probably the only kababayan who visits my blog from such a place. Where is that–Turks and Caicos? Glad that my blog lifts your spirit!
It is an island resort in the Caribbean just below the Bahamas. I am an accountant in a local airline company and I’ve been here for just a couple months so nag aadjust pa rin. It’s a very beautiful place, but totally different from my previous workplace (Makati) where I worked for 4 years.
I was surprised when I came here, maraming Filipino dito. Iba tlaga ang Pinoy, kung saan-saan na nakarating in pursuit of higher income just to support their families back home. Kaya saludo ako sa kanila, now that I know how hard and how lonely it is to be far from your loved ones.
I actually found your blog through the Sunday Life column of the Philippine Star website (thanks to the Philippine Star, it is my source of Philippine news).
Thanks a lot Sir Jim and continue to write and inspire others!
Louie, Turks & Caicos Islands
“To honor is to hold one in esteem. You can honor and love; you can honor and not love… You can actually honor your enemies by fighting fairly, as in the case of boxers (no hitting below the belt), or in taekwondo where opponents bow to each other before commencing a fight, or cowboys who, back-to-back, walk 10 paces away from each other before facing the opponent and trying to kill the other honorably.”
This is what our Pastor said during our wedding, in reference to us as husband and wife and the need to honor each other even in the midst of disagreements. It helped us understand the word “honor” much, much better and put it into practice.
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