HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes (The Philippine Star) | Updated October 11, 2015 12:00AM

Last Wednesday, another religious cult announced that the world would end on that day. I momentarily debated with myself the idea of whether or not I should still write a column, which was due the day after.

These “end of the world” warnings have been occurring throughout history. The earliest one may have been the Mayan prediction (predicting the end would come in 2012), which never came to pass.

I am trying to imagine how this misguided group is feeling right now. The day has come and gone. Today is the fourth day since the prediction. Nothing of the sort has happened. Is their faith shaken? Are egos bruised? Faces red? Do they feel sick? It is all of the above.

But seriously, if you were one of those doomsayers and truly believed it would be your last day on earth, what would you do?

Some would probably pray, or try to administer good works.

If I were a believer, I would get a phone book and start reading it. If it is going to be my last day, I want it to be as long as possible! And I might as well get to know as many people as I can!

* * *

I am happy that MMDA chairman Tolentino finally owned up to the Playgirl brouhaha. It was a stupid thing to do. But at least he showed some delicadeza by apologizing and giving up his Senate bid. I hand that to him. I am also happy that many men and women in the Liberal Party voiced their objections to the twerking show.

In truth, I am happy that the issue became a public one. The reality is that this kind of entertainment is standard fare during elections. Every party does it. Shows of this kind also happen in fiestas, company parties, bars, clubs, beer gardens, etc. And all the gyrating and sexual movements are not too far from what kids watch on TV. Now that this is out in the open, let’s lift the bar in the way we conduct political campaigns — and yes, that includes television.

A thought came to me when the news broke out. I put on my playful hat and tried to construct the most imaginative spin to explain what happened without ascribing malice: “The performance was actually a cultural one. It was, to be sure, a fertility dance whose inspiration dates back to the beginning of human life itself. It depicted variations on the act of procreation while celebrating the natal day of the celebrant. The active participation of some members of the audience gave it a semblance of spontaneity and realism while still maintaining its aesthetics and artistry.”

Yeah, right. For a moment, I felt like Kit Tatad talking about martial law!

* * *

Now that practically all the candidates for president and vice president have declared their intention to run, people are coming up with clever names for easy recall. Some candidates are lucky to have names that work out well with their partners. Others have to try harder.

For Mar Roxas and Leni Robredo: MarLeni, MarLen, RoRo.

For Grace Poe and Chiz Escudero: PoeChiz, GraChi.

For Jejomar Binay and Gringo Honasan: BiHon, BinGo, BiGo, Binayasan, Honanay, Binsan, JejoGring, JoNgo.

If Duterte runs and teams up with either of the two VP hopefuls who have sought him as a running mate: Rudy Duterte and Bongbong Marcos: RuBo, DutMar.

Rudy Duterte and Allan Peter Cayetano: DuterTano, DuterPeter, Ru-Pet.

Anyway, whichever team the nation chooses, whatever combination emerges in May 2016, I hope we get a good duo that will serve the country, not a “riding in tandem” combo, if you know what I mean.